... So I'd like feedback on why I have this recurring dream.

As a widow (of 15 yrs.) I dream I am in a quiet, stone building I have never
been in in real life. My late husband suddenly appears and I am elated to
see him after all this time thinking he's been dead. I have the normal reactions
of delighted surprise, but he has nothing to do with me. His reaction is one
of icy cold rejection.

I realize he's spent the last 15 yrs deliberately making his family think he's
been dead, but has actually been living another life (that sometimes in the
dreams includes another woman). There is no remorse what-so-ever for causing his
family incredible pain. In fact, he shows disdain and hatred for having found him out.

The confusion comes for me in the fact that this would never happen in real
life. My late husband would never do such a thing, and I don't remember ever
feeling threatened he would. The character in my dream is a complete opposite
of the kind of man my husband was.

I have gone through the grieving process, and went on to build a life for
myself and children in the time he's been gone. Puzzling...

Thoughts?

There is probably a part of you that wishes he were still here and that it was all a big trick - although an incredibly mean one.

Does the dream happen at particular times? Maybe it happens at times when something happens to you that he would have been very helpful with, if he was still alive, or when something happens that just reminds you of the time when he was alive - for example, if you hear an old song that was popular when you were married. Or when someone does something that reminds you of something your husband use to do (even something annoying.)

You bring up great thoughts, Marcia... especially feeling the lack of his input
during times I could use it. The sense of betrayal in these dreams is overwhelming,
and confusing to me.

I'm showing my age here, but there was a Golden Girl's episode in which Blanche has the same dream about her deceased ex-husband, so I suppose it is common for people who have lost a spouse to have this dream from time to time.