I keep having a recurring dream recently where I'm stuck on a spaceship. It's a really big ship but I hate it because I'm claustrophobic and can't get out till the mission/tour or duty is over. I'm always at the start of the tour, with months ahead of me, and there's nothing I, or anyone else can do about it. I just have to find a way to live with it until my time is up and we go back to Earth and I can get out. I spend most of my time trying to control my fear, sometime barely succeeding, and can't let anyone else know I'm almost going completely mad with fear, for fear they might lock me up or confine me in much worse conditions. A couple of dreams have been on a normal ship at sea, in the navy, with the same feelings of being stuck on there till we pull into port. In those dreams I've thought about running away when we land in a foreign country rather than get back on the ship and be stuck out at sea another few months, but I think official circumstances force me back aboard again. With the spaceship dreams running away isn't an option as we never land anywhere. In fact I'd never be able to get back and get outside on Earth again if I didn't stay on the spaceship, a terrible phobia paradox.

I work for myself, but I have been feeling pretty stressed and trapped in life, wanting to live forever. Oddly enough, I've felt better and not had the dream again since I wrote it down on here.

I'm also wondering if some of my phobias are seeping into my dreams because I don't want them, and my brain is trying to show me that I can get over them by putting me in extreme situations in my dreams and demonstrating that I still survive even then... if that makes sense?