had dreams of a guy before I actually met him! Please help me! I need advice.

I'm going to start off with a little background. I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We have a great relationship. I can't ever imagine being with anyone but him. Over the years, our passion for one another has been slowly diminishing because of our complete opposite schedules and daily stressors. I wish that we could revive our passion, but I feel stuck. He knows this because he is my best friend. We always communicate our feelings.

This is where I need advice. I had 2 dreams of another guy. In the summer, I watched the movie hunger games. That night, I had a dream I was in a hunger game type situation. A man told me to hide and come out when he signals me. We fought to the death of everyone. When I knew to come out to find him, it was very dark. I could see the back of his silhouette. I just knew it was him. I was excited to see him and know that he was alive. I hugged him from behind. He turned around and looked into my face. I felt full of passion for this guy and felt as if he was my lover. That was the end of the dream. If you asked me what I could remember most vividly, I would say his face. I thought it was odd that I dreamt of someone I never knew. I didn't think too much about it because I figured the movie was in my subconscious as well as my lack of passion in my waking life. A couple weeks pass and I dream that I'm swimming in the water. I'm drowning. The same guy appears in my dream again and saves me. His presence relaxes me. Again, I could vividly see his face. Subsequently, I wondered why this guy continues to appear in my dream.

Not long after, I was accepted into a graduate nurse program in the OR. I was scheduled to a case with a surgeon that appealed to me. I wasn't sure why. He is short which is not physically attractive to me. We are covered from head to toe. We are only able to see each other's eyes. It's not like I could see what he looked like. A couple weeks later. I finally saw his face in the corridor because we are able to take off our masks there. He was the guy in my dream. I freaked out! I never thought that I would actually meet him. We were both walking in the same direction. He turned the corner faster than me. He turned back to look at me. My feelings came rushing back like it did in my dream. From that point, I have been avoiding him. I'm afraid of how he makes me feel because I don't know him, and I would never want to jeopardize my relationship with my boyfriend. I let the nurse training me speak when he ask me questions. I clamp up. I feel like a silly school girl. I'm completely infatuated with him, but I feel guilty at the same time.

I explained my dream and told my boyfriend what happened. He tells me he understands. He says it's just a dream, and that my feelings will pass. I will be leaving next month where I was hired into another hospital so I would never see him again. I was relieved with some of my guilt. On another day of training, I was assigned to all his cases. I felt like he was attempting to talk to me, or come close to me. i politely laugh and don't really respond in conversation. For instance, the case has 2 surgeons. I was helping one gown up before the procedure. My dream guy comes in needed help gowning up. He jumps in front of me to help him. The nurse training me could have helped him. it would have been much faster, and she was standing next to him. The coordinator came in during one of the surgeries and told him not to go to the recovery after the procedure was done because he needed to see one of his other patients first. I thought good. I won't have to see him when I transfer the patient to the recovery nurse. The surgeon is usually in recovery as well to give prescription and other orders. As soon as I walked into the recovery area, he was standing there waiting. He gives me the prescription to give to the patient. He could have done it himself or give it to the recovery nurse. The more he tries to interact with me, the more I want him.I can't help but think about him all the time. I know that he and I could never happen. He is a married man because I saw his ring, and I love my boyfriend. What should I do? I have been contemplating if I should tell him about my dreams before I leave next month. This is ironic for me. I don't want to keep wondering what If I told him. I'm also afraid of him returning the same feelings for me because I don't want to cause pain or drama to anyone's life.

-Very confused

I think that what is happened is that you have altered the memory of the guy in your dream so that it matches the look of the guy you met.

Read about false memories and confirmation bias.

It sounds like this has to do with, as you said, a "lack of passion" in your current relationship.

If you are spending a lot of time working with this surgeon, it is normal for you to be fantasizing and telling yourself that he is "the man of your dreams".

It's possible that you were assigned to all of his cases because he is attracted to you (which I think would be unethical and could get him into a lot of trouble), maybe he just likes you as a person or maybe it is just that whoever did the assigning thought that the two of you would work very well together professionally, or could it be just a coincidence (I don't know how the assignment system works).

Maybe he just gave you the prescription because you were closer and it was easier or he felt more comfortable with you as a person.

Maybe this is just wishful thinking on your part. If he is married, I think you have to assume that he is happy in his marriage and if he isn't, that's his problem to deal with, not yours.

I think this has more to do with how you feel about your boyfriend than about this guy. Maybe, as your boyfriend thinks, it is just a harmless fantasy of yours, or maybe it is time for you to move on, not necessarily with the guy you thought was in your dreams but with someone else or just spend some time being single and thinking about what you want with your life.

This is a sign that you need to reevaluate your relationship.