Nearly a year ago I split up with my boyfriend that I had been with for a year and a half. I often think about him as the break up was far from on my terms and although it was fairly amicable, it was the most painful experience of my life and I was never given a proper reason as to why it finished. I came to terms with it and have been seeing another lovely man for over 6 months now.. Although he is very special to me, I don't love him in the way I loved my ex and therefore think about him regularly, even get jealous when I hear he is seeing someone else. I don't speak to him anymore, simply because I think things become too hard for both of us, but I regularly see his family (we are both heavily involved with a society) and we chat quite openly. Recently, I have been having really intense, vivid dreams about my ex, dreams that I cry at with disappointment when I wake up. They are very rarely the same, and never involve sex, but they are initimate and as I said before, very vivid. One dream involved us both sat in the middle of a rugby field on two chairs opposite eachother, my feet were on his lap and we were chatting very openly whilst a rugby game happened around us. It was very apparent that this game was happening, but neither of us were paying attention to it, and seemed to simply focus on eachother, laughing like we used to. This was the first dream. I then had another about a month later, we were both out in the local town and he came up to me, talking to me like we had never split and then began to try and convince me that we should get back together, then I woke up. Another dream involved us sat in a room that we'd talked about wanting when we got 'our own house' just revising, I had my elbow on the desk and was twiddling my fingers around as we talked, then all of a sudden he took my hand and entwined his fingers in mine like he was trying to hold it. And then we had a really simple kiss, but it was slow and intense, then I woke up, AGAIN. I am now often dreaming about finding ways to get in contact with him, stupid little ways that seem to work! I cant get my head around it because I don't seem to dream about my new boyfriend, although I love him. Please helpppp!
Is there anything that is happening in your life now that you can think of that would be making you dream about your ex now? Since you say that you don't love your current boyfriend as much as you loved your ex, maybe something is happening in your current relationship that is making you think that you wish you were back with your ex and not with your current boyfriend. I think the rugby game means that you are thinking that the only thing that was real was your relationship with your ex - the rest of it, like your relationship with your new boyfriend is just a "game", not really serious. The dream about him convincing you that you should get back together is probably just what you unconsciously wish might hapen. The dream about him wanting to get a house with you and kissing you is also probably wish fulfillment. From what you've said in your post - particularly where you said that you didn't love your new boyfriend as much as you love your ex, it seems like you really aren't over your ex.
Thank you, I have been looking everywhere, literally all over the internet, books etc for any form of explanation but because my dreams didnt involve sex, there were none. I often explain my new relationship as 'far more casual' than anything I've ever experienced before, and this may be the game situation. Also, there are problems with my current boyfriend that I didnt have with my ex, including him making me feel guilty about things he should be trying to change, and my dreams therefore are making me feel even worse about my relationship. And, I think your last comment is most probably correct. Thank you so much.
You're welcome. I hope things work out for you. And I think it's kind of sad that so many websites think that if a relationship dream doesn't have sex in it, then it isn't important.