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bad joke

Discussion in 'General Discussions About Dreams and Anything Else' started by iamagoblin, Jun 27, 2003.

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bad joke

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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    courtesy of my mate Benji (he's a kid btw)

    q. What's the tallest dessert in the world?

    a. The Trifle Tower. :lol:
    Maljonic, Nov 15, 2003
    #81
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    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

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    Ahh!! :dancer:
    Nicko, Nov 15, 2003
    #82
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    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

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    Q. How many legs has a four legged dog?

    Now I think I know at least one person that can remember the answer :lol:
    Nicko, Nov 16, 2003
    #83
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    iamagoblin

    iamagoblin New Member

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    why did the huhn cross the road?
    cos he was only following orders...
    iamagoblin, Nov 17, 2003
    #84
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    Paul

    Paul New Member

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    How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
    When the cake jumps out of the girl!
    Paul, Nov 17, 2003
    #85
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    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

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    Yet another good joke from Paul! :)
    Nicko, Nov 17, 2003
    #86
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    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

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    Do you realise, that if blinds werent invented,,,
    It would be curtains for all of us :p
    Nicko, Nov 19, 2003
    #87
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, 'If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.'
    So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. 'What's wrong?' he asks.

    'You gave me the wrong key!'
    Maljonic, Nov 19, 2003
    #88
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    colonesque10

    colonesque10 New Member

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    A bit of an old one, but what the hell....

    David Beckham goes into a barbers to get his hair cut. He has a personal stereo with him and headphones on. He sits down at the barbers chair and says to the barber..
    "Can you cut round the headphones please"
    "It'd be much better without the headphones on David" replied the barber
    "No...you must leave the headphones on"
    "Okay..no problem"
    So he's cutting Davids hair and david falls asleep. Right, thinks the barber, this is my chance to take the haedphones off him and cut his hair properly. So he removes the headphones and cuts the hair. He puts the headphones back on Davids head. He then tries to wake David. But he won't wake. He checks his pulse and he's dead.
    "Oh my god" Says the barber. So he listens to the tape, and on the tape he hears
    "Breathe in, Breathe out, Breathe in, Breathe out"

    Mwhhhhaaaaaaaaaa :p
    colonesque10, Nov 19, 2003
    #89
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    :lol:
    Maljonic, Nov 20, 2003
    #90
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    Pippa666

    Pippa666 New Member

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    lmao
    Pippa666, Nov 21, 2003
    #91
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

    The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have
    an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his
    umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

    The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

    The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
    Maljonic, Nov 21, 2003
    #92
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
    Three. One to eat it, and two to watch for cars.
    Maljonic, Nov 23, 2003
    #93
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    Paul

    Paul New Member

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    A lady walks into a bar and says,'' Barkeep, gimme a martooni.'' The bartender goes back and fixes her a martini. She downs it and says, ''Barkeep, gimme another martooni.'' So he goes back and fixes her another martini. She downs that, and just sits there and doesn't say anything. Finally after about 10 minutes bartender says,'' Would you like another?'' She says,'' Oh, no, I got this terrible heartburn.''
    The bartender says, ''Okay, there are three things wrong here:
    Number 1: It's martini, not martooni.
    Number 2: It's bartender, not barkeep, and
    Number 3: You're not having heartburn, your boob's in the ash tray.''
    Paul, Nov 24, 2003
    #94
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

    If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
    Maljonic, Nov 28, 2003
    #95
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    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

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    :lol:
    Nicko, Nov 29, 2003
    #96
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    What do you get when you cross a centipede with a turkey?
    Drumsticks for everybody!
    Maljonic, Nov 29, 2003
    #97
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    colonesque10

    colonesque10 New Member

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    Fella walks into a bar with an octopus. 'This octopus can play any musical instrument that you bring to him' he said. I'll put a tenna on it.
    So one man brings a guitar over and the octopus plays it, very well. So the man gives the octopus owner a tenna. A lady brings a trumpet over and the octopus plays it. Than a fella brings a set of bagpipes over. The octopus fumbles around with the bagpipes and then puts it down with a puzzled look on its face. 'Ha..' said the man 'You can't play them can ye'.
    'what' said the octopus 'play them..fuck that..I'll shag em when I can get its pyjamas off.... :lol: :lol: :lol:

    BAD...I know... :oops:
    colonesque10, Nov 30, 2003
    #98
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    Smiley

    Smiley New Member

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    Doctor doctor my freind thinks he's an orange. :?


    Oh this sounds very serious you had better bring him in. :roll:


    I have he's in my pocket. :lol:
    Smiley, Dec 1, 2003
    #99
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    brilliant! :D
    Maljonic, Dec 2, 2003
    #100
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