I am in a long term relationship. I have been seeing my boyfriend for three years now. For the most part, I am happy with him, but like any couple, we do have our problems and arguments. These are usually resolved in a timely manner, so I don't think that I have much to complain about.

On a few occasions, however, I have had dreams that leave me feeling absolutely miserable. Whenever I wake up from these dreams, I feel as if I have lost the most important thing in my world, like I will never see it again or recover from this feeling of loss.

In one of the dreams, a friend of mine invited me to visit a private island that was owned by a friend of theirs. I felt like I needed the vacation, so I agreed to go. The owner of the island had put us up in a lovely house near the beach, and had, more or less, given us free reign of the place. My friends and I had decided to go out and explore the island on our first day there, but I wound up getting separated from them. Lost, I wandered through the brilliant, thriving foliage and came upon a villa/garden. The garden was beautiful; everything was in full bloom. As I walked through it, I realized that it was not a part of the house that we were staying in, and I noticed that there was a table set up on one of the patios. When I got closer, I thought that I had to pick my jaw up off the ground.

The most beautiful man I had ever seen was sitting at the table, drinking tea and reading a book. He was tall and slender, with dark brown hair cut in a visual kei style, and he was dressed rather well. He was also Japanese, and he couldn't have been more than twenty-five years old. He noticed me hiding in the bushes, afraid to intrude, and he smiled and set his book aside, then motioned for me to approach him. I stepped out onto the villa in a rather shy, awkward manner, and I noticed that he had a lovely maid serving him his tea. She smiled at me in a gentle, loving manner, bowed slightly and excused herself back into the house to which the garden was connected. The man invited me to sit down and as I did, the maid suddenly reappeared with a second cup and poured some tea for me. I thanked her and she disappeared once again. The man and I talked for what seemed like hours, and the more we talked, the more I realized that I was falling madly in love. After a while, he stood up and offered his arm to me, inviting me on a tour of his house, and I figured out that he was the person that owned the entire island. I walked with him, and fell even more deeply in love as he showed his home to me. He had everything that I loved; there was a room dedicated to different masks and costumes from around the world. There was an enormous private library, a room of art and everything else besides.

It felt like I spent years with this man, talking, getting to know him and exploring with him, but after I glanced at my watch and the position of the sun, I realized that only a few hours had gone by. Sadly, I told him that I needed to get back to the beach house before my friends got worried about me. He thanked me for spending the day with him, assuring me that it was the best day he'd had in a long while, and escorted me back to the home he had allowed us to use. I thanked him for everything, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up. When I did wake, I felt so desolate, like I had nothing left in my life that mattered, now that he was gone.

A few months after I had that dream, I dreamed that I was at work. I worked in a mall, and one of my friends from my hometown had come down to visit me. It was time for my lunch break, so I clocked out and she and I walked down to the food court, talking and laughing. I was so involved in the conversation that I didn't realize that there was someone in front of me. I tripped and fell into this person, and when he turned around, I gasped. It was the same beautiful Japanese man from my other dream, although in this dream, I didn't recognize him. I gasped because I found him so achingly attractive. He smiled, helped me to my feet and checked to make sure that I was okay. I couldn't stop staring at him, and I stammered when I apologized for walking into him. I realized then that he was accompanied by his brother, who was also incredibly handsome. It ended up, somehow, with my friend accompanying his brother and myself accompanying the man from my other dream.

Time stretched on in this dream, and I got to know the man all over again, as if I had never met him before. We became the best of friends, and I thoroughly enjoyed all the time I spent with him. I was still dating my boyfriend, who got incredibly jealous of my friend, although I assured him that I was doing nothing wrong, that I was not cheating. And I wasn't. I spent time with the beautiful man as I would my other friends, although I harbored a secret love for him that I refused to show, as I was already committed to someone else. But it was nice to have someone who understood me so completely. I never cheated, but my boyfriend was furious whenever I spent time with the man. In my dream, I had the feeling that if I chose, I could be with the man, that he loved me just as much and as unconditionally as I adored him, but I couldn't bring myself to leave my boyfriend in such a manner.

When I woke up from that dream, I was in tears because I felt so ashamed of myself. I also felt like I'd lost a part of me that was irreplaceable. In both dreams, I felt like I had known that man my entire life, so it was not hard to love him or get to know him. I'm not really sure what to think about these dreams, or about how I feel when I wake up from them. Any ideas?

Since in your dreams you love this man and feel like you have known him your whole life, it seems like he must be a part of you.

I'm guessing that you're a woman. In a woman's dream, a mysterious man can represent the "animus", the masculine side of her - the part that is strong, rational, assertive, that achieves things, etc.

Since your boyfriend is jealous is in the dream, you may feel that your role as a girlfriend has caused you to become detached from your strong, independent side. You may be missing some of the freedom you had when you were single and feel that you have lost some of your strength and independence.