on the 30th, it'll have been a year ago since karl & i first kissed. cheesy, i know. on november 11th of last year, we spent the whole day together. he even called me beautiful & took me to the store and bought me asprin when i complained of a headache. only an hour after my headache, we were in the playground where a group of men decided to just jump him. i took him home, all bloodied and hurt, and i helped clean him up. i really cared for him even though we had only been seeing eachother for a short time. so then next day, i planned on taking him some get well soup & a card. before i got around to it, he called me and told me that he thought it was best if we didn't speak anymore. this totally shattered me. we hadn't even begun what we could've been and it had already ended. so hesitantly hopeful, i put the get well card & a birthday card in his door. long story short, he decided to keep the seperation in action. and since then, i've gotten back together with my boyfriend of 3 years. i do love my boyfriend to death. and its feeling like such a sin that almost every night, i end up dreaming of karl. and honestly, i'm starting to look forward to these dreams. some nights he will be trying to reach me and other nights he will be right by my side. last night, i dreamt that i recieved a letter from him with his phone number & his confession of being in love with me. dreams are dreams for a reason, right? a few weeks ago, a friend of mine told me that he had tried calling me bc he wanted to "see how i was doing". and since then, the dreams are known to last all night. i can wake up and go back to sleep and pick up where the dream left off. what makes this worse is that i've never been unfaithful to my boyfriend, anthony but sometimes i think i'd do it just for karl. i thought that maybe if i saw karl, it would help get him out of my dreams for anthony's sake. i tried to go see him & failed. i became too chicken, fearing that he would not want to see me. today, i find out that my friend told him that we stopped by and he asked her to have me stop by again. do you think it's possible that every time i'm dreaming of him, he's dreaming of me too? or perhaps that every time he looks at the moon, it reminds him of me? i'll never forget what he said to me last year..."look into the moon again, i love seeing it through YOUR eyes". the moon is only one constant reminder that even a year later he is still in the back of my mind. oii.