I had this dream last night;

" I am watching a white house - wood, old style house with a lot of windows and balconies and wings. In the begining of the dream, I'm standing outside thinking about the house being sold - like if it used to be an old family house (not parents house - more family hairlome) but it no longer belonged to us. Suddenly I'm inside the house. It is incredibly dirty inside; dust and grit and animal droppings and it looks like no one has been in there for years. It is dark and musky. I bending down, looking at something when a living creature touches my leg. I look around and see a little grey kitten. Cute. I stroke it (I like cats). Then suddenly I see another one. The second kitten is orange coloured and looks withered away; It has a really large, emeciated head, a thin neck and a dehydrated body. It is alive, but dying - it can hardly breath. I kneel down and start looking under the furniture. I find a couple of dead kittens that are only dried out pieces of skin and yet another couple of kittens that are still alive, but very unwell. I remember wondering how the kittens could have gotten into the house or if a pregnant cat have gotten in and had her litter there? Finally, behind a table I notice something larger. It is the mother of the litter. She is alive but looking very weak. The strange thing is that she is not a cat, but a tiger in minature size".

These are very dramatic times in my life and I havn't remembered my dreams for long - I hope I can find help to understand myself?

The white house represents you. On the outside you may appear to be happy go lucky, (but inside the house) is hidden memories that you would rather not deal with. The kitten that touched your leg is a loved one in your life who is reaching out to you, but they are finding it difficult because this loved one has hurt several people who have given up on them. You have a very sweet heart, but your comfort zone is damaged. Forgiving someone will take your pain away in time. If you don't forgive, the pain will remain in your heart forever.

You have done well to overcome much in your life. Now its time to allow healing through forgiveness. My prayers are with you.
Scorpio52

" I am watching a white house - wood, old style house with a lot of windows and balconies and wings. In the begining of the dream, I'm standing outside thinking about the house being sold - like if it used to be an old family house (not parents house - more family hairlome) but it no longer belonged to us. Suddenly I'm inside the house. It is incredibly dirty inside; dust and grit and animal droppings and it looks like no one has been in there for years. It is dark and musky. I bending down, looking at something when a living creature touches my leg. I look around and see a little grey kitten. Cute. I stroke it (I like cats). Then suddenly I see another one. The second kitten is orange coloured and looks withered away; It has a really large, emeciated head, a thin neck and a dehydrated body. It is alive, but dying - it can hardly breath. I kneel down and start looking under the furniture. I find a couple of dead kittens that are only dried out pieces of skin and yet another couple of kittens that are still alive, but very unwell. I remember wondering how the kittens could have gotten into the house or if a pregnant cat have gotten in and had her litter there? Finally, behind a table I notice something larger. It is the mother of the litter. She is alive but looking very weak. The strange thing is that she is not a cat, but a tiger in minature size".

These are very dramatic times in my life and I havn't remembered my dreams for long - I hope I can find help to understand myself?

Hi Karen,

I wasn't surprised to read that you are going through a drastic time. This dream is common in people that have gone or are going through some type of traumatic experience or disappointment. It often ends with the mother cat's disembodied head looming large and about to strike. I had the same dream when I was a kid. I was going through a period of low self esteem.

The part where you wonder if the house will be sold and that it no longer belongs to the family may be a representation of wanting things the way they were, before things started to seem "old" and "dirty" and "dark" and "dusty." I like Scorpio's interpretation with you as the house. You'd like to go back, but in a way it may just bring you down the same old "old" stuff. Sometimes you can't go back. You currently feel neglected but now it's time to let the "old" go and start a new.

The murky house being me

Hello and thank you both for your intuitive analysis. I agree with you both. It is likely that the house or the atmosphere in the house is my inside. Mutulated, ill, dead or disfigured kittens have always been the symbole for evil or indication of something wrong in dreams in my life. (It is very banal but holding or stroking healthy kittens is the one thing that makes me feel genuine happiness, like nothing else - so sick, neglected or dead ones is the opposite.)

And yes, I feel an emotional wreck. The one thing your analysis does not help me with is telling me what I should do - but that is a bit much to ask *smile*. For years people have been telling me that me being a workoholic and single woman into my mid-thirties has to do with setting my standard too high - simply asking too much. After years of insisting that I wanted both dramatic romantic love, independance and a great career - I suppose I "decided" on some level to try it "their way". Practical, cozy relationship, security and maybe the chance of having a child before it is too late. My boyfriend adores me and would accept anything I say or want. The problem is that I feel so bad I want to die. I am not in love. I feel like a fake.

Nothing seems to matter anymore. All this is happening at a time when the physical attractiveness that I have always relied on is diminishing. Like everyone, I am aging. Maybe if I break up I will miss my last chance at having a family. One part of me thinks that it is worth it - if only I could be on my own I would never complain again. My longing to be free is emense. I find my self wishing I was an old, old woman; where nothing of all this matters any more. It feels like it is all over for me. Like I'm condemed to be a workoholic spinster who never fixed herself in time to get it all together in time. With a belly full of dying kittens.

You mention it being "dark" and "dusty" in the "house." These are most likely symbols of depression, but I think you know that. Have you considered therapy?

This may be a clue as to what's going on internally. "For years people have been telling me..."
and you hang on to a boyfriend you don't love. For what? Yourself, or "people."?

Hi,
Well, in fact I have been in therapy - back and forth - ever since I was "burnt out" 7 years ago because I worked too much. Normally, depression is not my problem 'though. But it is a warning that I could be very sick or depressed if I don't react truthfully.

This relationship is very new - only a couple of months old - so it really isn't "holding on" to any boyfriend. It has been a trial on my part, thinking that if I gave it some time my feelings would grow from warm friendship to something more and I do love him - but it feels more like brotherly love. "People" have nothing to do with it since no one even knows about it. I feel terrible though because he is so in love and I don't want to hurt him.

My trial do not seem to work very well. I'm getting all kinds of odd phsyco-somatic disorders as well. At the moment I cannot walk because the muscles of the lower back has locked. So all sub-conscious alarms are ringing at the same time, not just dreams.