The following is a dream I had, once, two months ago. I copied it directly from my online journal where I wrote it down as soon as I woke up. It left me with a feeling like I was empty and numb for a half hour or so, and then sort of irritated the rest of the day.
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Ok, so I was in this hostpital/under sea ice factory/boat/mental institution.

I feel like I have had this dream or part of it before.

It started out as me as a man, freaking because I had just signed up on the crew and realised just how far under this enormous slab of ice we were, then I was the show off. We were retrieving all the chains from the sea crates like crab fisherman. Someone turns to me and says, hey its good that these are full(meaning the metal lockers that are now filled with chain.) we attached the crates to the bottom/back of the boat/craft/building's open hatch which no water came through though it was as big as a garage door and started putting the crates inside, but one man(me, though I was not the leader or expert, it might have been an older me/man). decided they would do better towing so we pushed them out. It was dangerous. Everything was brightly lit, even the smooth sandy sea floor.

Then I was working there with my sister, my twin sister. I was female again and I don't know what I was doing, but my father was somewhere and my mother was working as a nurse. she was taking care of this crazy girl that I don't even know, and then I caught them having sex- i mean really getting freaky. The girl was really wacked out, at no time did she seem harmless, I just stop caring after a while. I went to her that night and she showed me her room, with this really wierd closet and I kept getting up on the bed, otop of this cabinet and making these seemingly really high jumps to the floor. We started making out, but I couldn't, and needed drugs. There was another girl in her room in a smaller room around the corner or under the bed, she was a drug attic and while the girl was showing me this cabinet she had made in her closet to hold another that holds drugs I heard the sound of the other girl shooting up. I went to see because I was alarmed and This girl had like 14 syringes and was banging them back to back, and bleeding all over. I was like- What hte fuck, and wow you are going to get in trouble because there was no way to hide it and this girl couldn't get drugs on her own so they had to know(that the other girl fed them to her). Then I go back and we start making out again, I let her eat me out, and we do some drugs together(I think I shot up). I enjoy this part. The girl starts to flip out on me, oh and she was really wierd, like she had been burned and was bandaged, or her skin was dead and leathery and grey- like a corpse, and I was so repulsed when she touched me but I didn't want to admit it...Then I start to get really paranoid and freak, I have a syringe with me without realising it(I was high as f*ck) and I just start walking down the hallsback toward my rooms I share with my parents and sister. When I get to the hall my father calls out to me and he is watching tv, so I try to hide the syringe behind me and sit on the floor, pretending to be interested in what's on the tv I barely focus on, and slowly slide the syringe under my butt. Before that I had trouble getting the cover on and I have a real chance of getting stabbed. Maybe this is a syringe from the other girl, I might have freaked out on her before I left, I remember how beautiful and fucked up she was. Anyways, My father keeps talking to me and I am soo sure he knows, he probably does, and then he suggests I go find my mother for something*damn, forgot to steer the conversation towards something to make him leave, or no ideas*, she is working, and I keep trying to avoid standing up and want him to just leave, but he doesn't so I try to secretly slid the syringe into my shoe(and was probably obvious), but as I go to find my mother it falls out past the double doors and I throw it into a heat registar after breaking the needle on the carpet. I was pretty much running with this needle looking to get rid of it. I passed quite a few people like doctors and nurses and employees like soldiers almost in the hall, all ages, then I get to the morgue at the end of the hall, greatful to be away from people. The only thing is I am not supposed to be there, and the other girls body is there, all torn to hell, alot more than just shooting up. I freak and am like what the fuck, and I believe I have an encounter with a boy in there too. THe boy gets drugs or gives me drugs, or I get them from a room off the morgue by theft. Somehow now I have all these blood and drug filled syringes(Mostly blood, only a few with drugs), running through the hospital, past people that were coming to check(2 guys) because they knew I wasn't supposed to be in teh morgue. Somehow I knew that the girl had freaked and clawed and tortured the other girl to death when I had left, just to fuck with me and because she was deranged. Somehow I find my mother, and talk to her while she is taking care of a patient, and hide the syringes from her, but when I go to go past my father he sees one I drop and I make a run for it, spilling them on the stairs. Then the next scene is of the whole crew, including me and my sister, in the crew's locker room, all the females in stalls peeing. The leader starts handing the women pieces of paper that are bright yellow, I am last, and when he gets to me he says, sorry, but looks like we have a fuck up here, you'll have to leave, and hands me mine which is almost white. I failed the drug test and everyone passed. The only thing is I had never been in trouble before or been away from my sister. My sister looks at me like I were an alien. I am fucked. Words cannot really describe this wierd nightmare. The end. there was more but this is as closely as I can describe/remember it. Might not be chronologicly correct.

There seems to be a lot of drug abuse / use in your dream. I wonder what your take on drug abuse is? If you use them, maybe this is your subconscious signaling your reactions to your parents finding out about it. You see your mother as caring for others in your dream and the use of drugs maybe upsetting to her. Perhaps, you are seriously considering giving up on drugs or have just started using them and would like to give it up before it becomes and addiction. Alternatively, it could be someone else around you is using drugs and your brain is replaying the some of the nightmarish experiences of drug use. What were the things that stood out for you in the dream. I suggest you look at the symbols in your dream and what they mean to you. A symbol like the hospital could mean a place of healing or it could simply represent where you or someone close to you works and no other meaning other than that.

Good luck!!!

Thanks for your reply. I've known for a while that this dream was really significant but I've been putting off dealing/looking at it. With your interpretation and suggestion to look at the symbolism the dream really makes sense in at least one way. I think I'm ready to really look at it and I'm glad I found this forum.

I think that only people who are in a lot of pain, feel hopeless, need attention/affection, or want to die abuse drugs.

That being said I abused hard drugs from just before my 15th birthday for 2 years 8 months. One day I said screw it and quit, I told all my friends to F-off because the only people I knew did drugs, and I haven't looked back since. I had this dream around 3 months after I quit.

My parents knew I was using the drugs I was, but I *thought* I kept the method a secret from them. I got paranoid at times and that my parents knew became a huge deal for me. Because I was so high and my behavior got so out there it's very unlikely that they don't know, but they've never spoken to me about it. Perhaps this was my way of dealing with the whole fear so I could let it go.

My mother is a nurse, but what was significant about it for me was her having sex with a patient. Misconduct, disillusionment - while I was on drugs I had new experiences, bad ones, with my mother and learned she is nothing like who I thought she was as a child. I view hospitals and mental instutions as bad places people go when they get in trouble. In fact I felt like I was 'in trouble' most of the time in this dream except for the very first part where I felt unsure but drawn along.

Even the first part with the fishing - being in deep, feeling trapped, and one really significant memory of a person I liked talking to me about how glad he was there were drugs, "it's good these are full." The older me pushing the stuff out, pushing drugs and drug friends out of my life, and then never going back to the "work." I eventually dropped out of highschool about a year before I quit(I have my GED now).

The part that felt the strongest - where I was losing control - was the first bit about being under the ice, and then the part where I'm in bed with the dead girl and also the part where I'm running- then it was like I give up and lost all focus.

It wasn't so much a message or preminition as a recap of the last four years of my life - I see that now. I suppose the numb feeling were probably the first moments of true focus and clarity I'd had in a very long time. I'm glad I used it to write down my dream. Even though I felt numb I felt very in touch and balanced. I sometimes do after I dream and wake up, but loose it as the day goes on.

Thank you again.oke: It's been a big help.

The symbolism isn't really that deep once I started looking...:doh:

Sometimes our dreams provide us with a safe place for us to live out our thoughts, aspirations, etc. It may be that there were certain issues that you were unwilling to deal with or maybe not ready to deal with but your dreams prepare you to deal with them in real life. It can be a hard and long process. Be strong and good luck with all of that.

Cheers!!!