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bad joke

Discussion in 'General Discussions About Dreams and Anything Else' started by iamagoblin, Jun 27, 2003.

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bad joke

  1.  
    Smiley

    Smiley New Member

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    How To Prepare Chicken...

    A waiter asks a man, “May I take your order, sir?”

    “Yes,” the man replies. “I’m just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?”

    “Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.” :)
    Smiley, Jul 27, 2004
    #261
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    I like that one. :)

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another Jeep stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel.
    "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
    "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."
    :twisted:
    Maljonic, Jul 28, 2004
    #262
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    Julie

    Julie New Member

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    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

    He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
    Julie, Jul 28, 2004
    #263
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    Cool :)

    There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty , the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole!

    The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them! The man replied, 'Oh no. That couldn't be *my* goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie.' :cool5:
    Maljonic, Jul 28, 2004
    #264
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    Paul

    Paul New Member

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    Q. How do you drive the president crazy in the Oval Office?

    A. Tell him to sit in the corner. :stooges:
    Paul, Jul 30, 2004
    #265
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    Three bears came out of hibernation and they were stinky so they decided to take a bath. When they get into the bathtub, the last bear says to the first bear, ''Can I have the soap?''
    The first bear says to the second bear, ''Who does he think I am -- a radio?''

    Did you get it?

    Well you aren't suppose to! When you tell this to a friend get some people to laugh when you say the joke, so the friend looks stupid when they don't get it. :eek:ne:
    Maljonic, Jul 31, 2004
    #266
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    monkey moejo

    monkey moejo New Member

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    and does it work
    monkey moejo, Oct 12, 2004
    #267
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    martin702

    martin702 New Member

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    ??
    martin702, Oct 12, 2004
    #268
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    Yes, every time. :)
    Maljonic, Oct 12, 2004
    #269
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    monkey moejo

    monkey moejo New Member

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    i bet dark angel would fall for it
    monkey moejo, Oct 13, 2004
    #270
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    Every time. :)

    Actually, so would I. :oops:
    Maljonic, Oct 13, 2004
    #271
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    monkey moejo

    monkey moejo New Member

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    lol cool
    monkey moejo, Oct 13, 2004
    #272
  13.  
    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

    The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

    The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

    The doctor replied, "My point exactly." :)
    Maljonic, Nov 15, 2004
    #273
  14.  
    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    My friend was sitting at home the other night when his girlfriend came home and told him to strip her blouse off; then she told him to pull her skirt down; then she made him promise never to wear her clothes ever again. :)
    Maljonic, Nov 19, 2004
    #274
  15.  
    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    q. What do you get if you cross a clown with a goat?
    a. a silly billy. :)
    Maljonic, Nov 30, 2004
    #275
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    Paul

    Paul New Member

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    A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish.

    They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St Peter.

    St Peter asks first girl, "Karen, have you ever had any contact with a
    penis?"

    She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with
    the tip of my finger."

    St Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass
    through the gate."

    St Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Katrina have you ever had any contact with a penis?"

    The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one." St Peter says "OK, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

    All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line.

    When she reaches the front of the line St Peter says "Susan! What seems
    to be the rush?"

    The girl replies "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want
    to do it before Jackie sticks her arse in." 8)
    Paul, Dec 10, 2004
    #276
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    iamagoblin

    iamagoblin New Member

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    a man phones work to report he's sick, "how sick are you?" asks the boss, "well, i'm in bed with my sister!"
    :banana:
    iamagoblin, Dec 14, 2004
    #277
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    Marcia

    Marcia Dream Fairy

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    Tee hee.
    Marcia, Dec 14, 2004
    #278
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    When a rich man bought a car he had nothing to chauffeur it. :rofl:
    Maljonic, Jan 10, 2005
    #279
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    Marcia

    Marcia Dream Fairy

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    A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all work for a female boss who always leaves the office early. One afternoon, the brunette says to her coworkers, "Let's all leave work early. The boss is gone. She'll never know."

    The other two think it's a great idea, and leave. The brunette goes to see a film. The redhead goes to a bar.

    The blonde goes home and discovers her husband in bed with her boss. She sneaks back out, then comes home at her usual time.

    The following afternoon, the brunette says to her two coworkers, "That was great! Let's do it again today."

    "Sure," says the redhead.

    "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
    Marcia, Jan 14, 2005
    #280
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