Change background image

bad joke

Discussion in 'General Discussions About Dreams and Anything Else' started by iamagoblin, Jun 27, 2003.

Page 12 of 15

bad joke

  1.  
    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2003
    Messages:
    206
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hanz voz driving his car through Berlin, when he got stopped by the police.

    The officer looked in the boot and asked Hanz 'Vot is vat meat doing in your boot?'

    To which Hanz replied 'Vat is my spare veal!' :roll:
    Nicko, Jun 13, 2004
    #221
  2.  
    Marcia

    Marcia Dream Fairy

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,452
    Likes Received:
    16
    That was great. :)
    Marcia, Jun 14, 2004
    #222
  3.  
    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2003
    Messages:
    206
    Likes Received:
    0
    'Its the way I tell 'em!' :wink:
    Nicko, Jun 14, 2004
    #223
  4.  
    Smiley

    Smiley New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2003
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    0
    Das is good yah! :lol:
    Smiley, Jun 14, 2004
    #224
  5.  
    Marcia

    Marcia Dream Fairy

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,452
    Likes Received:
    16
    Sounds like my old Jewish grandmother.
    Marcia, Jun 14, 2004
    #225
  6.  
    Paul

    Paul New Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2003
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    0
    Q. If you are an American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?


    A. European!
    Paul, Jun 16, 2004
    #226
  7.  
    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

    Joined:
    May 8, 2003
    Messages:
    2,031
    Likes Received:
    3
    Oh I get it now, it means bathroom as in toilet; like Americans use it. :)
    Maljonic, Jun 16, 2004
    #227
  8.  
    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2003
    Messages:
    206
    Likes Received:
    0
    Should'nt it be the other way round! :?
    Nicko, Jun 17, 2004
    #228
  9.  
    Marcia

    Marcia Dream Fairy

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,452
    Likes Received:
    16
    I think so too.

    Although Americans do go to the toilet, just not in front of polite company.

    ;
    Marcia, Jun 17, 2004
    #229
  10.  
    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2003
    Messages:
    206
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ah...Somebody agrees with me, there is intelligent life on site!

    Bob and Sally are driving home and arguing yet again....Bob says to Sally 'You know what, when you die, I'm gonna have written on your headstone..Here lays my wife....Cold...as ever'

    To this Sally replies 'If you die before me, I'm gonna have written on your headstone...Here lays my husband...Stiff...at last!'

    Soz folks! :oops:
    Nicko, Jun 17, 2004
    #230
  11.  
    Smiley

    Smiley New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2003
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    0
    Q: What do you call a gnome with its head in a Fairies dress?

    A: A goblin!

    Sad joke i know..... :?
    Smiley, Jun 17, 2004
    #231
  12.  
    Anonymous

    Anonymous New Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2003
    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    0
    A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

    The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
    Anonymous, Jun 17, 2004
    #232
  13.  
    Marcia

    Marcia Dream Fairy

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,452
    Likes Received:
    16
    Johnny: Teacher, I have to go to the bathroom.
    Teacher: You can't go until you recite the alphabet.
    Johnny: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ
    Teacher: Where's the P?
    Johnny: It's running down my pants.
    Marcia, Jun 17, 2004
    #233
  14.  
    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

    Joined:
    May 8, 2003
    Messages:
    2,031
    Likes Received:
    3
    I saw that coming but it still made me giggle, I think I must be a little kid at heart :)
    Maljonic, Jun 18, 2004
    #234
  15.  
    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2003
    Messages:
    206
    Likes Received:
    0
    "Little kid at heart" Ah... You'll always be mummys little baby! :lub:
    Nicko, Jun 19, 2004
    #235
  16.  
    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

    Joined:
    May 8, 2003
    Messages:
    2,031
    Likes Received:
    3
    A small grocery store had just installed a new juice machine, and everybody who worked there was excited about who would be chosen to run it. One employee in particular, a grocery bagger, was determined to get the job. He went to his boss and made his case, telling his boss how excited he was about the new juicer, and how madly he wanted to be the one chosen to run it. His boss turned him down.

    "But why?" pleaded the young man.

    "Son," his boss replied, "Everybody knows that baggers can't be juicers." 8)
    Maljonic, Jun 20, 2004
    #236
  17.  
    Marcia

    Marcia Dream Fairy

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,452
    Likes Received:
    16
    That was very funny :)

    '
    A woman is home alone doing housework on a summer day. She's very hot, so she takes off all her clothes and continues to clean in the nude.

    Suddenly, the doorbell rings.

    Nervously, the woman calls out, "Who is it?"

    A man's voice replies, "Blind man."

    Relieved, she gathers up some money to give to him and opens the door...

    "Hey lady, where do you want me to put these blinds?"
    Marcia, Jun 21, 2004
    #237
  18.  
    Smiley

    Smiley New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2003
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    0
    On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

    The kid replies, "Yeah."

    The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."

    The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

    The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

    Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

    The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top." :lol:
    Smiley, Jun 21, 2004
    #238
  19.  
    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

    Joined:
    May 8, 2003
    Messages:
    2,031
    Likes Received:
    3
    What did the cow say to the masked robber?
    Moo. :moo:
    Maljonic, Jun 21, 2004
    #239
  20.  
    Paul

    Paul New Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2003
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    0
    :lol:

    A hungry African lion came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
    Paul, Jun 23, 2004
    #240
Page 12 of 15

Share This Page