So, in many dreams I've had, there's this one character who keeps showing up. He's an eerie man who tempts me to commit horrifying sadistic acts - and he seems to hold some control over me in the dream world. He makes me feel things and do things I would never do, and I enjoy it. Every time he appears, when I wake up, I wish the dream could have lasted longer. The feeling is euphoric.

I swear I'm the complete opposite of this in real life. I have Pure Harm OCD which means I have intrusive and distressing thoughts about losing control and hurting people - my worst fear. These dreams worry me a bit, and the fact that I enjoy them does not help.

One dream he took the place of my therapist who hypnotized me and taught me how to commit murder. In another dream, he was a waiter who brought me drugged wine, and the "main course" was torturing a woman to death.

In the most recent dream that featured him, I was a poetess who received inspiration from black feathers, and he was a policeman. He had handcuffed a girl to a moving walkway in a painful way. I secretly enjoyed watching it and was tempted to join, but I somehow refrained. After a short exchange, he walked away a few feet to a railroad track and started whistling as he walked down it - and something about his whistling hypnotized me. I had to follow him. I had to know more about him.

When I finally caught up with him, he was clutching a dead crow in his right hand. Then he threw it up in the air and shot it, and it shattered into pieces all over the grassy marsh. Said it was a warning about what happened to disobedient people. Then he lit a match and threw it into the railroad, and the whole thing started to catch on fire. He said that was what happened to "criminal vermin." As I ran away from the conflagration, I could hear him laughing. When I got back to the walkway, the handcuffed girl was gone. Then I went into the marsh and retrieved one of the crow's wingtips. I could feel inspiration coming to me just from stroking it.

That policeman's face still haunts me. I can't forget that eerie gleam off his round spectacles, the cap pulled somewhat over his face, and how he grinned at me like a Chershire cat. I knew he was trying to corrupt me, and I wanted to be corrupted anyway.

Needless to say I'm not like this in real life... though I do have a secret love for the macabre that some might find unhealthy. Naturally, I keep this under wraps.

But my OCD... it's in overdrive. The urges and thoughts are more intense than ever. It's almost like the policeman is still standing over my shoulder, whispering in my ear, "You wanted to hurt her, didn't you? Why haven't you killed already? It's about time for a freak like you." This distresses me greatly. Any thoughts?

I have read that the crow symbolizes hidden knowledge but also the dark side of human nature. As for the other things... I'm kind of at a loss.

This character sounds like your Shadow - the dark part of yourself that you try to hide from yourself and from other people. We all have one.

I don't know much about OCD, but I do know that it is characterized by the kind of waking thoughts that you have described, so it is possible that dreams like the kind you have are common among people with OCD and are related to the OCD.

You might consider asking other people with OCD if they have similar dreams, if you haven't already.

Re: Shadow

I wondered that myself for a while, but isn't the shadow supposed to be the same gender as the dreamer? I am a woman, BTW.

No. We all have a combination of masculine and feminine qualities. In fact, your unconscious making the shadow the opposite sex increases the sense of *otherness*.