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bad joke

Discussion in 'General Discussions About Dreams and Anything Else' started by iamagoblin, Jun 27, 2003.

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bad joke

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    colonesque10

    colonesque10 New Member

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    meeeooooowwww. Though I do agree with you.. :roll:
    colonesque10, Aug 31, 2003
    #21
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    A man and wife were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so the man bought his wife an expensive see-through nightgown.

    Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realised the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "For feck's sake, for 250 quid they could've ironed it!"
    Maljonic, Sep 8, 2003
    #22
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    iamagoblin

    iamagoblin New Member

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    Do you ever get mixed up and say the wrong words by mistake?
    only this morning i meant to ask my girlfreind for the milk but instead said " your ruining my life you fucking bitch!" :twisted:
    iamagoblin, Sep 9, 2003
    #23
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    Especially for goblin:

    Q: How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!
    Maljonic, Sep 9, 2003
    #24
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
    Patient: Go with the good news first.

    Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.

    Patient: What! How about the bad news?

    Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.
    Maljonic, Sep 10, 2003
    #25
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    Pippa666

    Pippa666 New Member

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    lol
    Pippa666, Sep 10, 2003
    #26
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in London. They had been meeting at that park every Sunday for over twenty years... chatting, and enjoying each other's friendship.
    One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, "Please don't be angry with me, dear, but I am embarrassed, after all these years. . .What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't."

    The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says, "How soon do you need to know?"
    Maljonic, Sep 12, 2003
    #27
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    Paul

    Paul New Member

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    What's silver and red and waddles into walls?
    A hungry zombie baby with forks in its eyes.
    Paul, Sep 12, 2003
    #28
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    iamagoblin

    iamagoblin New Member

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    two palestinian women shopping for cloths, one turns to the other and asks- "does my bomb look big in this?"
    iamagoblin, Sep 12, 2003
    #29
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    colonesque10

    colonesque10 New Member

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    iamagoblin thats a brilliant, if maybe a bit nasty, joke.

    Heres a couple of my poor jokes...

    Girl meets a lad in a club, takes him home and says "tie me to the bed and do what lads do best". So he tied her up, farted, scratched his balls and shagged her mate. :p

    Two mexicans, pedro and gringo, are walking in the desert. They've been walking or hours and are really hungry. All of a sudden Pedro screams "There's a tree with bacon and sausages hanging from the branches". Pedro runs over to the tree and just as he arrives there he is shot several times. With his dying breath he utters "Gringo, don't come over. It's not a bacon and sausage tree, it's a ham bush. :p
    colonesque10, Sep 13, 2003
    #30
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    iamagoblin

    iamagoblin New Member

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    mickey mouse

    mickey and minnie mouse are having marital problems so mickey files for divorce. in court the judge reads through there statements and then asks mickey if he thinks minnie having buck teeth constitutes good grounds for divorce? "thats not what i said!" pipes mickey , "i said shes fucking goofy!" :? :lol:
    iamagoblin, Sep 15, 2003
    #31
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    Nicko

    Nicko New Member

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    Do you realise that joke is over 20 years old...still good though! I must say old chap youre getting a bit daring with the language..what eh!
    Nicko, Sep 15, 2003
    #32
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

    The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

    "No," says the psychic. "Next term in her biology class."
    Maljonic, Sep 16, 2003
    #33
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    Q: What goes "ooooooo"?
    A: A cow with no lips :lol:
    Maljonic, Sep 18, 2003
    #34
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    colonesque10

    colonesque10 New Member

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    LOL :lol: I love the new look of the board Mal 8)

    Anyway heres another poor joke for you...

    Whats black, white, red and has two legs?
    Half a dog
    colonesque10, Sep 18, 2003
    #35
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    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    That was nearly as bad as: What's the easiest way to put a giraffe in a fridge?
    By opening the door and putting it in.
    Maljonic, Sep 20, 2003
    #36
  17.  
    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
    His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go and ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million quid. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."

    The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"

    "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."

    He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million quid, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"

    She replies, "Definitely!"

    The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."
    Maljonic, Sep 22, 2003
    #37
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    colonesque10

    colonesque10 New Member

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    Before a holiday a teacher gives out a homework assignment.
    "kids, over the holiday I want you to find a situation where the word contagious is used"

    After the holiday the kids are in class and the teacher asks
    "Paul, where did you find the word used"
    "My mum said we can't go round to my nans house because she has a cold and its contagious" paul said
    "What about you Sam?"
    "I had tonsilitis and my mum said I was contagious"
    "Good Sam. Ok what about you Mal" the teacher said
    "Me and me dad were driving past a man who was painting his fence and my dad said that will take the cunt ages"
    :lol: :lol: :lol:
    colonesque10, Sep 23, 2003
    #38
  19.  
    Maljonic

    Maljonic Dream 老师

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    What's black and white, black and brown, and black and black?
    A nun roasting on a spit!
    Maljonic, Sep 26, 2003
    #39
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    Pippa666

    Pippa666 New Member

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    lol I like that one :lol:
    Pippa666, Sep 27, 2003
    #40
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