Seven Years of Dreams
Here are the last dreams I wrote down during March of 2010, taken from a dream diary I updated every day on paper for seven years and transferred to here. If you want to remember your own dreams with increasing clarity, writing them down is the only way to do it. When each month was filled the dreams were moved to the dream archive where you can see the full collection of over two thousand recorded dreams. This dream archive is the longest and most complete record of a single person’s dreams online, without a single day missing in almost seven years. The color of the text reflects the dream mood or overriding color of the dream.
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
William Butler Yeats
The dreams in which I’m flying are the best I ever have.
J D Malory
10-March-2010: I dreamed that I was having a fight with my stepdad, only he was a giant and I could only reach up to his knees. I had to keep climbing up the walls and bouncing off furniture to kick him in the face. I eventually knocked him to the ground by attacking his knee joints and, after he’d collapsed, I found a little guy in a bowler hat underneath him. I said sorry to the little guy, that I didn’t mean to hurt him as well.
9-March-2010: I had a dream that I was with some old college friends, Su and Lisa, in a kind of old fashioned school hall. They were asking me about my holiday from a previous dream and I asked them if there was any mention of me regarding Angelina Jolie, which they thought was ludicrous. I begged them to look at Angelina’s Twitter page to see if she’d said anything, but they thought the idea so rediculous that they wouldn’t even bother looking. I tried to look on my phone but the reception was too slow and they thought I was being really silly.
One of the teachers, being a bit wiser and seeing how upset I was, decided to see if he could find anything on the subject. There was a lot of news about Angelina being on some kind of secret romance vacation in the Bahamas, all the newsrooms wanted to know who this strange guy was. There was a video of Angelina and this guy on a quad bike, getting off at the end of a race – Su and Lisa came to look – and when they removed their helmets you could see that the guy was me. My college friends thought it must be some kind of joke, some trickery, and were in the process of saying so when a very well-dressed chauffeur entered the hall and asked for me. When I was pointed out he stepped aside and a skinny young woman in a sexy dress came over to talk to me, she was related to the Royal Family of England. She asked if I would go with her to meet Angelina in Australia, where she was making a movie called Generation Games, and if I had any clothes I needed to bring. I said I would come right away and that I would buy new clothes on the way.
We got into a long, old fashioned but immaculate Rolls-Royce and drove off into the countryside towards an airport. The driver was driving very quickly, a bit too quickly, and I said so to the young woman who sat in the back with me, explaining how Angelina had arranged everything and that I was to be protercted at all costs. I said that the driver was just beyond his ability to control the car, that he would crash in three turns from now. The girl said he always drove that quickly, that he was more at home at high speeds. I started counting the turns out loud. Just before we got to turn three the driver hit the brakes and we stopped. I looked out the back window and saw another car swerve off up a didfferent road. The driver said I was right, he would not have been able to take the next turn at that speed. I told him not to worry, if we’re followed again let them get close and I would zap them with a device I had in my pocket that would cause their car to stop and not start again.
8-March-2010: I dreamed I was walking passed loads of trucks in a parking lot, all crammed in tight so it made me wonder how they got them all in there. I then walked past an engineering company called, Happy Lucky Engineering, where you could see people inside through large glass windows, all working on different machines. They seemed reasonably content with their work and I assumed the company was probably owned by a Chinese company because of the name. I wondered if calling your company Happy Lucky Whatever made any difference to how happy the employees were.
7-March-2010: I dreamed that I had a holiday romance with Angelina Jolie. We did all kinds of things together, and we were sometimes interrupted by this big annoying guy – a bit like John Candy – who kept breaking stuff when he tried to do whatever I was doing, like riding a motorcycle or one particularly funny incedent when I was leaping from roof to roof and he fell through and got his feet stuck. He got a bit too much when Angelina and I were trying to be romantic inside a red car and he was constantly knocking on the windows to ask me something. To fix this we went to buy two cars, a big jeep for us and a little green car for the big goofy guy. We let him drive off ahead in his little green car and said we’d follow, but I turned off a different direction along a highway and we left him behind. Angelina thought this was a bit mean, but went along with it anyway because I was in charge. I knew we’d see him sooner or later anyway.
6-March-2010: I had a dream that I was in a small prison talking to a security guard and his daughter. A little boy asked if it was okay to leap over the guard’s desk and leave via the fire exit out back. The guard nodded and the boy hopped over and left. I said ‘oh, can I go that way too, it will save a lot of time?’ and the guard replied, joking, ‘Oh no, we don’t let inmates out this way’. I said, a bit annoyed, ‘I am NOT an inmate’ and the guard’s daughter said ‘don’t be silly, just let him out – you’ll get into trouble’. The guard let me climb over his desk and leave through the fire exit.
5-March-2010: I had a dream that I was almost romantically involved with Eva Mendes, only everytime we tried to kiss and cuddle someone interrupted us.
4-March-2010: I dreamed that I was working for a large corporation and the boss was Patrick Stuart. I was bored with the whole working routine of a few people getting lots of money while others do most of the work and told my boss that I was going to setup my own company with a totally different work ethic, the likes of which mankind had yet to see. Our office was in a skyscraper in London and, after quitting my job, I decided to buy the whole building and use it as the headquarters for my new company. I decided that I would start using the powers of the Mothership and Catface to bring about the end of money on Earth, I could flood the Earth with unlimited amounts of cash and resources until the whole concept of buying and selling things to live would become ludicrous. However, I never told anyone that this was my underlying plan because I knew there would be huge resistance.
I started by offereing the owners of the skyscraper 50 million pounds, which they accepted. However there was a bit of a glitch when they asked who the money was coming from, i.e. what was the name of my company. I put them on hold and said to my new PA ‘shit, I forgot to come up with a name!’, and she said I should base it a bit on some of the sci fi shows I watch, but make it something meaningful to everyone. I knew I eventually intended constructing some enormous generation ships that would not be unlike the space station on the TV show Babylon 5, and with the name having other positive connotations I quickly told the guy on the phone that everything would be paid for by the Babylon Project. I had a bit of trouble setting up a bank account at first, getting refused by some of the major banks, and had to pay for our new building in cash, delivering 50 million pounds in a secure truck.
The dream jumped forward a few months and all kinds of mini projects had been put in place to get the ball rolling. I went on TV and made an announcement that I was going to employ two million people in the UK over the next three months, then start expanding the Babylon Project into other countries. We had opened special Babylon employment agencies in every town and city in the UK, always right next door to official Job Centres so they were easy to find. In my TV announcement I said that anyone who shows up will be employed, there won’t even be any kind of formal interview. Job seekers would simply walk up to a booth where they would be scanned and a printed booklet would be given to them to read over the next three months, with instructions on the kinds of tasks they would be expected to carry out. As soon as they leave the booth they would be on the payroll, in fact money would be in their bank before they left the building.
The BP had also began work building modern housing estates with machines that provided free food and drink, and there would health care and schools for the children of people who didn’t feel they wanted to work. They could live out their lives without any stigma attached to being unemployed, but were free to join the babylon Project whenever they wished.
My next TV announcement caused a lot of chaos on the roads and in the stock markets. We had installed Babylon Stations next to every fuel station along the A1 motorway, from Edinburgh down to London, and people were told if they drove their cars through them they would come out like they were brand new and be refitted with an engine that never needs refuelling. Furthermore, their cars would be insured and tested to be road legal at our expense forever, so people could show up in a rusty old banger that hadn’t worked properly for years, then come out with a shiny new car that never needed refuelling. Another thing about the cars after refitting was they they were impossible to crash, and could not be damaged by being crashed into. Part of the reason for this, which I never explained to anyone, was that the cars were being powered by Contraterrean Energy, a for of semi-sentient energy that exists in my dreams.
People could speak to their cars and the cars could give the drivers instructions on how to make things in the car work properly. None of the people signing up to the Babylon Project new they were going to be working in space, or that their cars would activate new systems when the time came for the work to start and employees would drive their cars to the space docks to work on the Babylon Project’s spaceships.
3-March-2010: I had a dream that I found a new bar and nightclub in town that was open twenty four hours. I went inside and found some friends, Tarin, Amber, Jo, Ali, Phil Benton and some other people I never met. They had been in there for two days already when Tarin told me they were on a ten day partython.
I had a telephone inside my head that I answered now and again and spoke to people in different languages. A girl in the group who I didn’t know thought I was funny for pretending to speak to people on an imaginary phone in imaginary languages. However, I was doing deals to buy the club and sign it over to my friend Phil Benton because he really liked the place and he’s not having much fun with his current job in waking life.
I made a final call to one of my dream business partners that everyone could hear. This time they all thought I was being silly when they asked ‘what language was that?’, thinking I was making it up and trying to sound French. It was in fact old medieval French that I was speaking and I explained that I often do big business deals in this language to confuse eavesdroppers.
2-March-2010: I dreamed that I was dropped off by a taxi in the middle of town wearing nothing but a bath robe. I was really hungry and went looking for somewhere to get something to eat, which was quite difficult because I was a bit obsessed with not eating anything that would make me fat.
1-March-2010: I had sort of a series of dreams, through it was really all the same connected dream, where I kept blacking out and forgetting who I was. In one dream I was being arrested and put into a police van on some Mediterranean island. I couldn’t remember how I got there, what I’d done to be arrested or who I was. I kept telling the policeman this but I think he thought I was trying to get away with whatever he thought I’d done.
I begged a black detective to listen to me, saying that I could fall unconscious at any time and would appear somewhere else completely different with no idea of how I got there. I asked him, whether he believes me or not, to try and watch everything that happens to me and make notes so I could read them later. He thought this request superfluous, being as I was to be locked up in a police cell and they’d know exactly where I was.
However, as we drove along a cliffside road, with a beach and ocean far below, the back doors of the police van fell open and I suddenly thought I could leap off the cliff and float down through the sky like a soaring bird, which is exactly what I did.
The detective started shooting at me while simultaneously been bewilered as to how I was flying, or gliding towards the beach. He recognized where I was heading and ordered the driver to go there. I could see the little police van winding its way down a dusty road towards the beach, and some police cars also appeared beneath me on the sand. I knew I would be caught again so I gave a final spurt of energy towards soaring out to sea. Leaving the island far behind, I fell exhausted into the sea and blacked out.
When I came round again I was dripping wet, skinny yet well built and naked apart from some tight little white shorts. I was being introduced to a gangster’s wife by her husband who was living in a villa in Spain. He told her how he found me floating in the sea and dragged me out onto his yacht. I didn’t tell them I didn’t know who I was or how I got to be there, but they didn’t seem to care. They assumed I had some kind of special qualities and were treating me nicely while they figured out what they could use me for. All I could think was they had better think of something soon because I will be gone again.