31-January-2007: I had a confusing dream about a school for criminals, a car chase and two dancers on stage with a goldfish.
30-January-2007: I had a dream that my hometown of York ,England, had reinstated trams after an absence of like eighty years. The new trams were very modern looking, swishing up and down the streets, and it was all very exciting.
29-January-2007: I had a dream that I went to Japan with my wife, Marcia, and went to all the placed I used to go years ago in waking life – though some of them were added in by my dream, such as a huge out-of-place Gothic cathedral near the Tokyo Dome.
28-January-2007: I had a dream that I was the boss of a huge insurance company, and that I had superpowers which I used to detect some invading robots only moments before they came crashing through the walls of our insurance building. They were supposed to be scary but, because I knew they were coming and told the staff, everyone was ready for them – hiding under their desks at first then fighting them off down the stairwells.
27-January-2007: I had a dream that I’d been for laser eye surgery on my right eye, with the intent of having the other eye done when the first one healed. When I came out of the eye clinic I put some of the drops they gave me into my right eye and loads of people clapped and cheered, “see, he’s a good boy using his eye-drops already!” The rest of the dream I was spent walking around with people, or sitting in cars, covering up my left eye to see if my right eye was getting better yet and how well I could see with it, with the occasional cheers and claps when I added more drops.
26-January-2007: I had a dream that I was a woman and inspecting a new Gated Community at a place called New Earswick near my hometown of York. The only way into the community was through a house that had a hallway with chairs and tables where people were interviewed before they were allowed to live in the enclosed village. I turned back into a man at some point and noticed that the community had it’s own bar where I could see, through a window, a large fat man pouring a huge frothy beer and handing it over to a customer. The bar being there was kind of unusual because New Earswick, in waking life, does not have any pubs or bars because it was originally built by Quakers or something like that. I thought to myself that, had I been younger when I used to drink a lot, the presence of the bar might have encouraged me to move into the new gated community, but as it was I had no interest in living there – so I left.
25-January-2007: I have a friend in waking life called Lewis Evans. I haven’t spoken to him in years and I think I was drunk the last time I saw him and said he was nasty to me when we were in France. Before I went to bed I was thinking that if I see him again I want to tell him that he’s a nice person and not nasty at all, probably one of the nicest people I ever met actually. In last night’s dream I was sitting in a house that I never saw before, it was sunny outside and three people came to see me. The first I don’t remember. The second was Chris Bacon (who was in France with Lewis and I, and isn’t as nice as Lewis) who brought something really unusual in a wooden box, I can’t remember what it was but I thought he was mad for being able to find it and bring it to me. Last Lewis came to see me and I jumped up and told him he was “Ace!”
24-January-2007: I had a dream that I was crying over my granddad’s death, which was eight years ago in waking life. I was looking at his old green sofa that used to be in his house and saying that I don’t want to live in his house because it reminded me of him and that he is dead, then I cried even more because I thought my granddad would be unhappy that I didn’t like his house.
23-January-2007: In my hometown, York, there are two rivers, the Ouse and the Foss, and the Foss runs into the Ouse south of the city but otherwise the two are nowhere near each other. In my dream I found a new pathway that led between the two rivers, which were flowing side by side. I loved the feeling of discovering a new place and running along the path was so exhilarating, I ran faster than I ever have before in a dream or in waking life.
22-January-2006: I dreamt that I was driving a car up an impossibly steep hill on a motorway that led into the city of Doncaster in England. The car was powerful, maybe my actual waking life car, but it nearly stopped before it got to the top of the hill and only just managed to make it over and into Doncaster. I was supposed to meet someone at Doncaster train station but got distracted in an old, smelly pub full of smokers and drinkers talking about how steep the hill into town was. The person I was supposed to meet grew tired of waiting and got on the train the Grantham instead. I spotted a helicopter sitting in a construction site and assured the owner I was a qualified pilot and flew off after the train the Grantham.
21-January-2007: I had a dream that I fell out with a friend I never met before in waking life. I can’t really remember anything more than that other than my real waking life friends were trying to help us patch up our differences.
20-January-2007: I had a dream that I was in America with a friend called Clay Garner, who used to live in America himself in waking life but moved to the UK a few years ago, and he was trying to drive my car. He couldn’t quite get the hang of it and kept bumping into fences and signposts next to a dusty road outside a little desert town. He eventually gave up and told me to drive, at which point Marcia appeared on the back seat and we all drove off together down a long highway.
19-January-2006: Before I fell asleep my wife, Marcia, was talking about how she was disappointed with her doctor… then I fell asleep and dreamed that she was on the phone shouting at her doctor. The dream was one of those where you think it’s totally real, like all the scenery was nearly the same as it was just before I fell asleep.
18-January-2007: I was dreaming that I had two upper-class society friends in London and that we were dining in the Ritz. One of my friends was just overdoing it with being posh, way over the top, and it was kind of irritating. My friends were much richer than myself and I’d spent all my money to pay for the meal and bought the most expensive wine the Ritz had to offer, which in this dream was £800 ($1600) a bottle. My annoyance reached a peak when the uber posh lady took a sip of the expensive wine then, very casually, dropped her cigarette into the glass to put it out as a statement of how posh she was, that she could use £800 wine as an ashtray. I called her a spoilt bitch and ran off through the kitchen and into the basement of an abandoned building where everything was the total antithesis of poshness, rundown, decaying and smelly with dripping pipes.
17-January-2007: I had a dream that most people were not completely sapient, even though we think that we are, and that if you somehow make yourself one hundred per cent sapient, by learning as much as possible, you get extra help with life from higher powers.
16-January-2007: I had a dream that I was back at school, as a child, and that I hadn’t done my maths homework. The teacher tried to berate me but I was all smug telling him that I could do it all then and there on the blackboard, which I proceeded to do then got carried away writing all kinds of complicated equations.
15-January-2007: I had a dream about an Australian TV soap opera called Neighbours. A character called Toadfish (Toadie) had returned from Sydney to investigate the disappearance, and madness, of his best friend’s husband, Max. Max’s son, Boyd, was angry at Toadie because he thought he was romantically interested in his mum, Stef. Note, this is pretty much what is happening in the real, waking life TV show.
14-January-2007: I had a dream about a futuristic housing estate. Not a bright technological future, but more of a Orwellesque grim Big Brother of a place. A working class family was showing me around their home (I was some sort of inspector for housing), a small apartment in a huge modern-looking (from the outside) block on a hillside. Their home was dirty and decrepit on the inside, partly because of themselves but partly because the walls were badly made and there was loose wiring everywhere. The worse part though was the floors, they were skewed so much and sloping at a sharp angle that it made me dizzy to walk around the place, wondering if the whole family might be tipped out onto the hillside at any moment.
13-January-2007: I had a dream that my brother an I discovered a new town five miles away from York, in England, where all the people were really pleased to see us, or anybody for that matter. It was kind of an American Dream type town, where everyone is polite and plays honest wholesome sports and games, eats well and goes to bed early. I was thinking of moving there.
12-January-2007: I had a dream about a guy who could play hand drums really well, but he was being put off by a teacher showing a child the drummer and humming the tune to Good King Wenceslas along with the beat. Later I found a snake-charming instrument but it was very poorly made so I couldn’t get a proper tune out of it, then I met a guy playing a guitar and I asked him to play Good King Wenceslas in the style of heavy rock, which he did.
11-January-2007: I had a dream that I was Quincy MD, the eponymous character from an American 1970s TV show. I was called in as an expert to advise on some kind of disaster that had taken place in downtown Los Angeles. A woman kept referring to somebody as Mister Fudge and it took me ages to realize she was talking about a black man and referring to his skin colour in some odd bigoted 1970’s manner. I was told that they would have to fly me straight to the scene of the disaster and I got all excited about going for a helicopter ride, then checked myself for behaving more like me instead of Quincy.
10-January-2007: I had another dream about Pete The Train Driver, again he was near the River Foss in York. I’m not so clear on what happened this time, but the River Foss has always been a kind of source of mystery to me as it disappears between buildings in York, reappearing under unusual bridges and shadowy corners. It is an opposite of York’s main river, the Ouse, which goes straight through town, wide and clear where everyone can see it.
9-January-2007: I’ve been dreaming a lot about friends I haven’t seen for a long time recently. Last night I dreamt about a friend called Maja Obradovic, who actually used to be my best friend in waking life for a long time, and she was quite old – like about sixty. It was nice to see her again but when I woke up it made me wonder if she would be old the next time I see her, which made me kind of sad as she was only about 28 the last time I saw her and it made me think about my own aging too.
8-January-2007: I had a dream about a friend called Peter Simmons, who used to be called Pete The Train Driver when I first met him, for obvious reasons, and is still known by that name to many. I was with him near the River Foss in York, England. We both went hovering above the river and discovered a secret entrance into Saint William’s College and watched a graduation ceremony from a hiding place in the rafters of a building overlooking a courtyard.
7-January-2006: I had a dream that I was in hospital with Marcia and she told me that she’d seen a great book in a library inside a closet. I went to look for the little library but got sidetracked when I discovered lots of food and some really nice looking quiche, which I stole and ate.
6-January-2006: I was dreaming about watching people offload lots of luggage onto a disused railway line at King’s Cross station in London. I made a joke to one guy with his family that he should be thankful he wasn’t going on a expedition, then he told me about all these places he’d actually been, which sounded very much like an expedition. After this I talked to a black couple in French who were confused about how to get their bags off the tracks, a few feet below us from where we stood on the platform.
5-January-2006: I had a dream that I bumped into a man called Terry Musgrove who I used to work with at a Printing company called Fulprint when I was a teenager. Terry was still working there, he may still be in waking life, and I went with him to work to see how they were doing. They weren’t doing well at all, in fact everything was packed away in boxes apart from one printing machine still struggling on against bankruptcy. I wanted to tell Bob Scrace, the owner, that he needed to move with the times, stay modern and think about having a proper website – but I figured he’d probably just think I was touting for business. As I woke up I thought that Bob was probably already moving with the times and doing very well at it, he was always quite good and taking on new ideas.
4-January-2006: I had a dream that I was playing some kind of live war game, very similar to a computer game called Battlefield 2142 that I’d been playing before I went to bed, and that I’d stormed a house to take control of its flag. When I got in there a guy from the other team was waiting to question me about kanoodling with his girlfriend, which I truthfully denied all knowledge off. Just after this his girlfriend came into the house and looked at me saying, “Come on then, we got this one” and I realised she was on my team in the war game. I ran out after her and jumped into the back of a jeep to let her drive. We speeded off through desert towards the next capture point and I started stroking her naked legs and laughing, to my surprise I had been up to no good with the guy’s girlfriend all along! Then the dream cut to some evil look mind tormentor of a guy saying to the first guy that he now had all the proof he needed as they watched the girl and I on a screen, kissing in the jeep.
3-January-2006: I dreamt that my wife Marcia was talking to her sister on the phone about going to America.
2-January-2006: I had a dream that I went back in time and snatched a Roman artefact without knowing what it was until later. The artefact was stored in a brown tube and two people eagerly watched as I opened one end and tapped out the contents, which turned out to be a woolly hat with a panda bear motif. Everyone thought it was a foolish prank at first, and I thought I’d made a mistake, but a nerdy girl took the hat away for carbon dating and everything matched up. We had a conversation about the dyes they must have used on the hat and how much further the Roman’s must have travelled than originally thought to have come across panda bears.
1-January-2007: I had a dream that I’d been on a short trip to Hong Kong with Marcia, my wife. In waking life Hong Kong is one of my favourite places in the world, so in the dream I was a little disappointed that we had to leave after only a couple of days. However, when we got to the airport the plane was delayed because of thick fog. No one knew how long it was going to last and the passengers were all just sitting there in the departure lounge, waiting for the fog to clear. I convinced everyone that it would be easier to go back to our hotel and have somebody call us if the fog clears, that way we could still have fun like we were on a holiday instead of moping around feeling dejected in the airport. Some guy, who looked like the actor Kevin Bacon, said that he’d spent ages pulling all the posters off the walls that he’d painstakingly attached on his arrival, that he would have to reattach them all again otherwise he would not have any fun at all. I ignored him and decided to extend our holiday anyway, whether the fog cleared or not.