30-April-2008: I had a dream that Marcia and I went into a bank called The National Westminster and a girl was talking on the phone, rather too loudly, saying that the HSBC was a terrible bank that was very efficient at taking your money – though I got the impression she was lying so we would join her bank instead.
29-April-2008: I had a dream that I went to see a massive tunnel through a mountain somewhere in upstate New York. For some reason the tunnel was a tourist attraction, it had a golf course on top of it and people drove through just for the thrill.
28-April-2008: I had a dream that Marcia went to work without kissing me goodbye and, just as I was feeling a bit sad about it, she woke me up for real and kissed me goodbye and went to work.
27-April-2008: I had a dream that I was hugging my wife Marcia and that my stepdad, who I haven’t seen this century and has never met Marcia, was in the same room with us and he was a sleepy truck driver.
26-April-2008: I had a dream that I was telling my friend, Mark , all about a website I’m making called ‘dbz anime’. Mark made a joke about it being a load of balls – he said it because dbz means Dragonball Z, which we thought was hilarious in the dream.
25-April-2008: I had a dream that I was at a house that all my friends and I refer to as Nunmill Street, with my wife Marcia and friend Ché Sanderson. It’s a house I lived in as an art student a long time ago, which often appears in my dreams – though this is the first time Marcia has been there.
24-April-2008: I had a dream that I was at my childhood school showing off to the other kids by climbing up the outside of the building’s walls.
23-April-2008: I had a dream that my Granddad was alive and we were watching History Channel on TV and discussing the documentaries.
22-April-2008: I had a dream that some American friends had come to stay with us in England for a vacation and there were some young hooligans outside in the street drinking beer and shouting a lot. The Americans wanted to shoot the rowdy kids with an air rifle and I was trying to stop them, on the grounds that I had to live there all the time. It didn’t work however, the Americans started shooting at them and it was really funny.
21-April-2008: I had a dream that I was on a train in America with my wife Marcia and friend Ché Sanderson. We went to Pittsburgh and it was like a big coal mine and I was insisting we go to a different town via a station called Victoria, but Marcia was vehement that the station wouldn’t take us to where I wanted to go.
20-April-2008: I had a dream that an old steam railway had been reopened, called Derwent Valley, and that I went for a ride with the driver up front to Scarborough in England.
19-April-2008: I had a dream that I was on the run across some countryside with a couple of friends. We went through a forest and found a family of gypsies who has lots of booze, guns and motorbikes, we stayed with them and had a great time.
18-April-2008: I had a dream that I was in town with someone and was about to fly away when they stopped me to ask something, so I was just kind of hovering above the ground ready to go. Passers by thought we were a street magic act, with me levitating, and threw coins onto the ground in appreciation for the convincing illusion.
17-April-2008: I had a dream that a friend called Peter Sanderson had bought himself a little pizza take-away restaurant on the outskirts of York in England, which was rather unusual as it’s not at all the type of thing he would do in waking life. The pizza business seemed to be going very well when I called in, Peter had one Romanian girl doing everything behind the scenes, I think he even had a bed out back and she was sleeping there. Peter left the girl to run things while we went outside to practice shooting with an AK47 assault rifle in some woods.
16-April-2008: I had a dream that my childhood school was filled with white spiders’ eggs.
15-April-2008: I had a dream that I was in a pub called the Queen Victoria with a guy called Gary from a British soap opera called EastEnders. I was trying to talk to Gary and his friends but all they could think about was getting money to buy drinks. Gary was beside himself with grief until he won £17 on a fruit machine and could buy himself more drinks.
14-April-2008: I had a dream that I was a cameraman, waiting with a bunch of other camera TV crews by a fence next to a runway in France waiting for a plane to land that we were all sure was going to crash. It was sort of like we’d already seen it happen, but this time we wanted to get it on film. The plane did come as expected and it did crash and we all got the explosion on film, though there were French protestors across the street from us trying to stop our macabre filming.
13-April-2008: I had a dream that I was sitting in an old tradition bamboo bar somewhere in China making the patrons laugh by speaking Mandarin in many different accents from different regions of China. People kept saying stuff like “do Sichuan” and “now do Beijing again”.
12-April-2008: I had a dream that I was staying in a hotel with an autistic boy I know in waking life and we had to evacuate. The dream actually started mid-evacuation so I don’t know why we were there in the first place. Hundreds of guests were running around and panicking, trying to find the way out – all the windows were locked shut. The boy and I ran up to the roof and jumped off to safety the hid behind a hedge. I expected to see the hotel on fire but it was actually being attacked by 1950s style flying saucers.
11-April-2008: I had a dream that a crazy magic guy wanted me to make him a website but I turned the job down.
10-April-2009: I had another dream about a canal, in this one was more focused on a massively deep hole next to the water. Myself and some people I don’t know were doing the test where you drop rocks down the hole to figure out how deep it is, only we could never hear them hit the bottom.
9-April-2008: I had a dream that I was with a group of students up to our waists in water in a canal performing a demonstration of the Solar System for Dutch television.
8-April-2008: I had a dream that there was a tiger on the upper floors of my childhood home. I went to the kitchen downstairs and tried to tell my mother about it but I couldn’t get her to leave the house, she kept saying it would be all right and that I shouldn’t worry. However, when the tiger came downstairs she screamed “bloody Hell!” and we both ran away outside and climbed a fence so the tiger couldn’t get us.
7-April-2008: I had a dream that Eurostar, a train company that travels from England, though the Channel Tunnel, to France and Belgium, had developed into a huge company way in the future called Hardstar, operating silver-grey super fast trains all over the world and making air travel a thing of the past.
6-April-2008: I had a terrible case of man flu when I went to bed and piled lots of duvets on top of me to stop myself shivering, which made me dream that I had a huge pyramid pressing down on me the entire night. I had lots of dreams, maybe 30 or 40, all with the same oppressive feeling that a huge Egyptian pyramid was on top of me and there was no way I was ever getting out.
5-April-2008: I had a dream that Sally Fletcher, a long running character from and Australian TV soap opera called Home and Away, was been hunted down by an armoured tank. Sally was too clever for the tank driver though and kept disappearing down alleyways and sneaking through abandoned buildings to get away.
4-April-2008: I had a dream that I was trying to market a pub for geeks, a drinking place where geeks could invent new software for computers and use banks of machines with software on them that was no use to anyone other than a total computer nerd.
3-April-2008: I had a dream that I went to an all night drinking party in some woods with my friends. I didn’t really want to drink any more that two beers though so I was a bit torn between wanting to stay with my friends and wanting to leave so they wouldn’t make me drink more alcohol. A friend called Tamsin Evans, who I haven’t seen in years, drove up in a supercar, like a Ferrari or something and got out to ask me if I wanted to go home with her. She was always well known in waking life for looking pretty gorgeous, but as she stepped out of the car she looked like a Hollywood film star/supermodel – all long legs and expensive sunglasses. That was all the excuse I needed to leave the party, so off I went with Tamsin back to some post modern, bright white 1920s style house and talked about Steve, her boyfriend who she was with the last time I saw her in waking life, who we had left back at the party in the woods.
2-April-2008: I had a dream that I had really long hair, like down to my feet, and that I was forced to do hundreds of situps to prove that I had hero status.
1-April-2008: I had a dream that I was a German/Roman soldier who was frowned upon by my citizens for staying in town instead of going to battle with invaders outside the walls. However, I was later praised for staying behind when all the people who had left were dead and I, their mayor, was the only person left to seek guidance from.