28-February-2010: I had a dream that a mirror broke and one of the shards cut Marcia’s (my wife) arm off. After this I seemed to have a whole series of drama-type dreams where I was angry, upset and crying. Things only got better when I went to visit Marcia in hospital and she was so sweet.
27-February-2010: I was back in York with my friends after been at a party in the country where we defeated some vampires, in a dream that followed on from the previous night’s. My friends were paranoid that the vampires would not be settled after their defeat and would come to get us once again. I showed my friends how we could tell that the vampires were coming by the way the trees behaved. If vampires were around the branches would sway oddly and the leaves would close up slightly as the vampires drained some of their energy in passing. A vampire did eventually come to get us but I could just make out its shimmering shape where it was trying to be invisible. I used my willpower to force the vampire to appear. It was a beautiful woman and I told her that my friends were off limits and she had no right to be here. She said that she knew about the restrictions but was not here to attack us, she was on the run from the other vampires and wanted my protection. As she explained this she was kissing my neck and whispered into my ear,”See, I could have got you”.
26-February-2010: I dreamed I was in a country house at a big party with a group of people, waiting for some vampires to come and kill us. The vampires were initially invisible as they crept up to and inside the house, then they would appear looking exactly like one of the group already in the house but in a different room to their victim. However, their mannerisms gave them away as not been who they appeared to be, which caused mayhem as people ran around the house screaming. I decided to take control of the dream, making it a lucid dream, and empower myself with my sci-fi dream abilities and told everyone, including the vampires, that I was an alien with far more powers than any of them. I used my personal EMP shield to make it impossible for the vampires to attack me. I also had a device that slowed down time for everyone else while I moved around at normal speed, which made it possible for me to fight the vampire leader who was otherwise too quick to see. I thoroughly beat up the lead vampire and could have killed him, but called a truce instead. The vampire leader declared and marked our house and all my friends off limits to the vampires.
25-February-2010: I had a dream that I was racing a go-kart made from lego down Mickelgate in York, where I live. I tried to be brave and distance myself from what I dreamed were my usual, safe tactics to get ahead of the race. However, I crashed near the bottom of the hill and my kart was smashed to pieces. In waking life I have some aluminium tubing in my garage, and I used this in the dream to help a professor build a stronger go-kart. Later in a dream I was told I would not be the driver in future so I took back my tubing and everyone thought I was mean.
24-February-2010: I had a dream that I was the Keeper of the Key to Humanity. I was running away, like Forrest Gump, across my childhood school field, being chased by robots who were detonating atomic bombs in my wake.
23-February-2010: I had a dream I was in a cycle race that got diverted down a lane that led to a flooded river. A guy in front of me layed his bike on the ground and went into the river, then disappeared beneath the surface. I called then police to get help but they did not care.
22-February-2010: I dreamed that I met some BMXers and rappers in a skate park and started talking about the meaning of life and new discoveries about the universe and various cosmic issues that might be worth rapping about.
21-February-2010: I dreamt that I found a cure for vampirism that left you with all the strength and speed but removed the curse of being trapped in the nighttime and having to drink blood. You still got to live forever and it made your skin rock hard and impervious to vampire bites.
20-February-2010: I had a complex dream where an old homeless man was harassing a young woman on a street called Tadcaster Road. I went to help her get away from the man and took her to a doctor’s surgery where they had a counsellor for victims of abuse. Later on though I saw the woman talking amiably to the homeless guy the the surgery car park. They were discussing how much money they thought they would be able to get out of me, the whole thing had been a con. However, my overwhelming charm and concern for her current lifestyle and its effect on her future caused her to tell the guy to get lost and she ran away with me instead.
19-February-2010: I had a dream that we were living with my stepfather, who I have not seen in over ten years, because Marcia was too scared to go home since our house had been burgled in the dream. However, it was not long before we realized that it was better to just go home.
18-February-2010: I had another dream set in Brooklyn. This time I was riding a bicycle on the road and some guys on motorcycles told me I should ride on the sidewalk. However, when I did ride on the sidewalk som pedestrians told me not to listen to the bikers and go back on the road.
17-February-2010: I had a dream that I was at a Lau Gar Kung Fu school in Brooklyn, demonstrating my version of a form called Far Kuen.
16-February-2010: I dreamed that I was with my friends Carl, Steve and Amber. We were driving aroiund trying to find a caravan and camping store. At some point we found ourselves trapped inside a large building, but I rammed our car through the wall to escape.
15-February-2010: I had a dream that my friends and I were playing lasertag in a supermarket and getting carried away with ourselves, throwing pots and plates and tipping over displays.
14-February-2010: I had a dream that my wife, Marcia, was hoping this other guy was interested in her but he never showed up at a pre-arranged time so she stayed with me instead.
13-February-2010: I had a dream that my brother kept getting massive birthday presents off people and I wondered if my birthday was going to be as good.
12-February-2010: I had a dream that some friends and I were in a field going for a walk. I decided we should go and look for the River Trent and, in particular, a spot near a power station because I thought the water would be warm there. When we got to the river it was enormous and flowing very fast, so we got in a canoe and paddled to the other side where there was a nice, calm canal instead.
11-February-2010: I had a dream that I delivered some sacks of rice to a monastery in the Philippines that was caring for sick children. Each grain of my rice was special, each one was capable of curing any disease.
10-February-2010: I dreamed that I was driving around America in an electric car after a nuclear holocaust. I was searching for survivors and found a town that was thriving, with hundreds of people living there. I asked them why Americans go crazy, forming gangs and pillaging, after a disaster.
9-February-2010: I had a dream that I was with my friend Maja and a man with two babies in Amsterdam. We were having a discussion about the construction of languages.
8-February-2010: I had a dream that I was back in America with my wife Marcia and these two women wanted to sleep with us. At first I thought it was a good idea but later changed my mind. I was surprised to find, however, that Marcia thought I would agree so had said yes and the girls were sure it was a done deal. When I said I wasn’t going to go through with it the two girls got nasty, saying it was too late and we had to go through with it. The rest of the dream involved me running away and being hunted by crazy people with guns and Transformers around Coney Island.
7-February-2010: I dreamed that I was on a school trip and we stopped off in a remote town in Eastern Europe. I went into a clothes shop and bough a sports jacket for my friend Ruth Frost.
6-February-2010: I dreamed that I was fighting RPG (rocket propelled grenade) and bazooka gangs in South America.
5-February-2010: I had a dream that I was talking to my friend Neil Kay about Caesar’s workshop, where great siege weapons were designed and built, and the different levels of Rome.
4-February-2010: I dreamed I was trying to find carpets with stories woven into them.
3-February-2010: I had a dream that I was roller-skating around a gym and picked up some girls who were at Art College the same as me. I offered to give them a lift to college in my helicopter, being all suave. When they accepted I got Catface to bring the Mothership and make it look like a helicopter. When it arrived it came as a high-spec Dauphin helicopter, which impressed the girls greatly – especially when we flew all the way to LA.
2-February-2010: I had a dream that I was discussing story writing with my friend Helen Foreman. We were trying to think of a better, less clichéd phrase than ‘romantically involved’.
1-February-2010: I had a dream that I was in a narrowboat, driving down the river and escaping from zombies that were following me along the riverbank.