31-January-2004: There was a woman that couldn’t walk and her long lost cousin came along and she ran up to him but didn’t notice she was walking. Her legs were hurting her and her husband kept saying that was a good thing; I kept going inside her head and she was really scared, convinced she was going to die any second. She phoned for an Ambulance but the operator said there wouldn’t be one available till Thursday (it was Friday), the poorly woman almost had a fit. I appeared and took over the conversation telling the operator that the woman was going to die, she needed an ambulance now. They said they might be able to get her a helicopter by Sunday and I was getting very frustrated until a large gorilla came smashing into the house and offered to drive us to the hospital. As we pulled up to the hospital all the nurses were waiting for us and started cheering, there was a kind of tickertape parade with colourful streamers falling from the hospital windows. The woman was told that she wasn’t going to die and that her legs would be fine in a few weeks.
30-January-2004: I was on the train to London feeling a bit agitated, the journey was taking too long. A girl opposite me asked if I find it difficult to sit still without having a drink, I replied that if I wanted a drink I would go to the bar and get one. The camera of the dream panned outside and showed a crash scene; I said to everyone in our coach, ‘I wonder why they showed us that, if this train is going to crash I’m going to the back. It’s always the ones at the front that die.’ After a short time the back of the train was packed with people and the front empty, caused by Chinese whispers from what I’d said, everyone was preparing for a big crash that never came. After manoeuvring onto different tracks, the train started going the other way so that the back was now the front; it was still packed as everyone didn’t want to move again when there was only half an hour left of the journey. The front of the train had been altered so that we could see the driver, who was taking a break while two exchange students were having a go at the controls. An older woman next to me was a little horrified but I explained to her that I had Microsoft Train Simulator at home and that they were doing everything properly, I told her what all the different controls were for before I realised what a total nerd I sound; after which I kissed the woman instead and we carried on kissing all the way to London. The train couldn’t get to King’s Cross where it was supposed to be going but somehow managed to get to Earl’s Court, which is impossible. When we got outside the station the scenery was of poor quality and out of time; like in those American films that are supposed to be set in England but are actually all filmed in a Hollywood studio with all the outside shot consisting of red London buses going around Piccadilly Circus filmed by a Cine camera.
29-January-2004: There was a gathering of all kinds of people at my childhood family home. My friend Maja was there and a girl that looked like I think Maja wishes she looks like, only I think Maja actually looks better than that. Maja gave me a big hug for not watching her get dressed and the other girl was jealous, she said she was going to be cooking me a special meal later in the day and Maja and I thought it was really funny.
28-January-2004: It was the dead of night in the back garden of my childhood home, I was reading out a magical incantation with my brother and mother standing behind me. The spell was being cast towards the stars that were brightly visible in a velvet sky, my mother kept interrupting the spell chant to tell me how well I was doing it; I had to keep telling her to stop it. The spell was to summon light-entities from a far away planet and culminated in me burying a magic penny in the soil. After that we went to bed but I couldn’t get to sleep thinking about alien visitors; I was terrified they were going to come and abduct me and do heinous experiment upon my body. I calmed myself by remembering how the spell I had cast was only meant for benevolent life-forms, but I began to wonder if they would think us primitive and backward for using such means to communicate with them.
27-January-2004: Cycling around the suburbs of New York City I came across an unusual area called Little England where all the houses looked like they do back home in England, only in the 1970ies. I was so dumbfounded by the site I actually started riding on the left hand side of the road and nearly got ran down by a woman in an old pink Cadillac; she sounded her horn but said, ‘Never mind, it happens all the time around here.’ I came to a halt at the bottom of a very steep hill where some old fashioned looking English folk were struggling upwards with placards, possibly they were coal miners.
26-January-2004: I had an out of body experience in the morning that wiped out all memory of what I was dreaming about. Instead of wandering around I just sat there in my flat and occasionally went outside on the stairs to see what people were doing; I watched a couple moving out their stuff from the flat downstairs and heard different peoples’ souls jabbering to each other as they passed on the stairs.
25-January-2004: I went to the doctor’s because I’d been feeling really strange for years, like I wasn’t really here or wasn’t meant to be here; I wanted to ask the doctor for a brain scan. When I got to reception there was quite a big queue, the woman at reception was very rude and derided me for turning up so late even though I was actually ten minutes early. A man in the queue behind me grabbed my shoulders and needlessly pulled me back out of the way of a little boy, I flung him away from me and went and sat down on a bench. I opened a window and thought that the outside looked a bit different than it should, so I climbed out to have a look. As soon as I got outside I felt one hundred per cent real; this was reality and back there in the doctor’s surgery was somewhere else. I went for a walk around the neighbourhood, everything looked the same but the feeling was different, I was back home in my own reality after years of feeling a little lost. I went to my childhood home to see how it looked in this universe and found that my family was still living there; in the place I’d just come from they’d moved out years ago. I went into the house and had a look around, some things looked quite familiar but slightly different; there was a camcorder that I used to have when I was married to Masayo in the other reality and some other Japanese mementos. I found my brother in a room but he didn’t recognise me, said he never had a brother. He told me that Masayo was his wife but they had been divorced for over a year now, he said he had been drinking too much and she got sick of it and left; which is sort of what I’d done in the other reality. After a bit of digging I discovered that I’d disappeared when I was fourteen, my brother had been twelve at the time, and no one had a clue what happened to me. My brother’s mind had blanked the incident through shock or something, and my mother was keeping going to care for my brother. I sat and waited to tell my mother that I was back home again; but there was something else, I would have to slip back through the doctor’s surgery a few times a week so my mother in the other reality didn’t lose me too.
24-January-2004: There was a society of normal humans intermingled with robotically adapted humans. The robot humans always had their faces covered with bandages, other than this their only difference from other people was that they had a kind of control crystal inside their brains, inserted when they were born. I fell in love with one of the bandaged robo-humans and determined that I must extract the controlling crystal so that she may live freely, exonerated from her robotic tasks. This was a little difficult because the crystal was highly explosive, nevertheless I did eventually extract the tennis ball-sized machine and threw it over a very high cliff; we drove off as fast as possible to get clear of the small atomic blast, I saw the flash in the rear view mirror then the top of the cloudy mushroom appear over the cliff. We made it unscathed and returned to our little town, even though my girlfriend no longer had her robotic implant she still retained all that it had helped her learn. I was a revolutionary and an outcast for what I’d done, removing the crystal, she and I were constantly under verbal attack for the first few weeks; on the rare occasions we were physically attacked, Sara’s robotic karate training saw us through to victory.
23-January-2004: I had a big old green vintage car in mint condition, my friends Che and Carl were in it with me going for a ride around the block. Che kept trying to tell me how to drive, saying I was doing something wrong all the time; his brother, Carl, was telling me to ignore him and I did. I figured in the end that none of them were particularly impressed with my old car so I went back home with them and used my radio transmitting watch to call for my luxury car. I assured them they would like it and we could drive for miles in luxury, sitting in the back while a chauffeur drives up front. When the car arrived it was huge with plush leather seating in the back, all kinds of drinks and gadgets to play with; my brother came out of the house and told everyone not to get in the car because the driver was a weirdo and always drove too fast, the driver was actually a robot replica of Dame Judy Dench and my brother was just paranoid. Another friend Neil came along for the ride and a schoolmate called Jason was already in the car. We had so much fun drinking and messing with the gadgets, radars and stuff, that we didn’t notice the driver had taken us all the way to Aberdeen in northern Scotland. I got out to buy something to eat and when I came back I saw our car driving off without me and realised I was on my own in a really scary part of town. A prostitute started threatening me with a small knife, accusing me of kidnapping one of her friends, and then her pimp started doing the same with a large machete. I used my radio watch to order my Labrador attack dogs to come and rescue me. I warned the man that they would be here in minutes; he said that he didn’t believe me and even if it were true he’d chop them up with his 10 machetes. I told him that these were robot Labrador attack dogs and that his large knives would simply bounce off. I could see on my watch’s radar that they were nearly here, I told the man as much but he just sneered and made ready to throw a knife at me; before he could the dogs were on him and Robot Judy had come back with the car and I was back with my friends again.
22-January-2004: I had a telepathic affair with my friend’s wife then played in the snow in New York.
21-January-2004: A friend called Maja and her brother Nikola came to visit me in York, we all met outside my childhood home even though I don’t live there any more. Maja had brought a horse with her and she was trying to sell it to another friend called Carl. I kept singing, ‘killing me softly with his horse,’ throughout the dream, thinking it was absolutely hilarious. Maja and I were discussing how we could get into my secret bunker that runs underneath the house, it being more difficult to access now that I no longer live there; I couldn’t take anything seriously though and just kept singing my silly song.
20-January-2004: I was having a dream about sailing across the North Sea in a tiny boat and moving onto a bigger boat, the bigger boat smashed into the smaller boat and destroyed it. Later I sort of woke into lucid dreaming and did this thing I always do with the book that I was reading the night before, I hold the book in my hand and let it go like a bird so it flutters around the room; if I hold my hand out in a certain way and wish it, the book comes straight back. I started wandering outside and ended up in a park in the centre of York, England and started calling objects towards me; balls, Frisbees, and even a car. A few people said they were impressed with my abilities but none of them seemed like they hadn’t seen anything like it before.
19-January-2004: I was one of three secret policemen working in Tokyo, Japan. After a long chase through an amusement park and a heated gun battle, we cornered a crime boss inside a little grocery store. We burst in and the old lady that ran the store was shaking with fear; my men took away the criminals while a young boy that was with us went out back to pee. We forgot about him and walked off with the bad guys, the scene changed to the little boy hiding behind a curtain in the store; he heard the old woman laughing uproariously with an old gentleman, they were boasting how the police were so stupid and how they’ll never figure out that she was the real boss in Tokyo. Perhaps stupidly, the boy said, ‘Ah!’ a bit too loudly. For the next half an hour the boy was being chased by all kinds of crooks around Tokyo back alleys, he eventually caught us up and told us everything, the old woman was taken away.
18-January-2004: I was the comic book hero Dare Devil, there was a fight scene around a large swimming pool; I was winning for quite some time until two really powerful villains came to attack me. The dream had a heavy drum and base soundtrack that rose in tempo and volume when the two super-villains arrived, the drumming was beating in time with them punching me. I asked for help from other super-heroes but they all stayed outside the poolroom, too afraid to come and help me. I decided to run off my self and escaped on a London underground train.
17-January-2004: I was with an autistic boy that I see at the weekends, we usually go out for a bicycle ride with him riding in a covered cart that is attached to the back of the bicycle. For some reason I was going to be with him all weekend instead of the normal couple of hours, so instead of our normal twelve or fifteen mile round trip I decided to cycle all the way to Scarborough on the Yorkshire coast in England, which is about forty miles away. We made it all the way to Scarborough okay but things went a bit hazy after that, I’d gone into a house with someone and left William outside still in the cart; when I came out again it was a whole day later and I’d forgotten all about William until that moment. He was still in there lying completely still, I thought he must have died and was terrified but he was merely asleep. He was very annoyed at me for leaving him so long, so annoyed that he actually spoke to me which in reality he can’t yet do. I said. ‘Wow, you can talk now!’ He replied in a very eloquent fashion, ‘Don’t be so silly, of course I can bloody speak. I’ve just never been angry enough to do it in the past!’ I don’t know what he’d been doing while I was away but his face was filthy, covered in mud and soil, I knew I’d have to clean him up good before his mum saw him in that state.
16-January-2004: I was in a swimming pool and a girl came swimming over to me, I smiled at her and she started talking to me. At first I didn’t think she was particularly attractive but she had these amazingly sharp green eyes. She kept whispering things to me and putting her face really close to mine, I thought it was a bit odd because she had arrived with a man and he was in the middle of the pool staring at us. I thought she must be trying to make him jealous and didn’t want to get into a fight, I was going to back off when the man came swimming over. He told me that he wasn’t her boyfriend but wishes he was, he said that she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to be his girlfriend or go out with someone like me instead. It was all a bit odd. She ended up coming back to my house, a house I’ve never seen before with oak panelling inside. There were loads of unopened Christmas presents for someone that hadn’t been to collect them, possibly because they had died. The girl started ripping off all the wrapping paper, the presents were all boring things like macramé sets and a sewing machine. Later in a slightly different dream my friend Neil was trying to freak the girl out by behaving like a lunatic, I apologized to her but she said she didn’t mind and thought that he was really funny; she used the macramé set to make a funny hat for herself with Santas and Christmas trees on it, hoping to freak my friend out even more.
15-January-2004: Something about my brother doing something nasty towards my mother and her being surprised; I was telling her to think of all the things he’s done in his life and to ask herself why she is surprised. My stepfather was kicking me and I was swearing at him to stop.
14-January-2004: I was involved in a boat race along a very wide river. All the boats were different sizes and shapes, the boat I was on had three crew, myself and two disabled women; all of us powered our boat by pedalling with our hands. It was a lovely sunny day and the river sparkled as we raced around; afterwards there was a long, lazy boat ride for everyone involved in the race with food and drink.
13-January-2004: An old school friend, Sean Suckling, was a bit distraught because a friend of his was in hospital. I told him he couldn’t be all that bad because he drove there himself, but Sean had heard that his friend’s situation was a lot more serious than originally suspected. I drove Sean to the hospital, when we got there another old friend from school called Robert Blake met us at the entrance, he was crying because his younger brother James was in a semi-coma. It was James Blake that was Sean’s friend, James had driven to the hospital in the morning because of severe headaches like he’d never known before; he was now in a hospital bed not expecting to live much longer. He spoke sometimes about loud popping noises inside his head. I got Catface to scan his brain using the high-tech computers of the Mothership and project a simplified image onto the wall at the end of James’ bed. A fairly complicated map of his brain appeared on the wall with the intricate weavings of his blood vessels, there were five separate bulging red areas where aneurisms had formed; Catface simultaneously beams out the clotted areas and beamed in healthy blood vessel material. James exclaimed his headaches and the popping had completely gone, doctors were baffled but extremely pleased.
12-January-2004: In a supermarket at the checkout I gave the young man my credit card and put my wallet down on the counter, I was momentarily distracted then looked back to find the man going through my wallet looking at all my other cards. I was really annoyed at him snooping into my personal things, he said he wanted to see if all my signatures matched.
11-January-2004: Some time in the future a friend and I caught a new high speed train from London to somewhere in India; the journey only took six hours, which is nearly twice as quick as a plane would take. The place we stopped at was amazing, a sort of quintessential India with spices and music and dancing; I said to my friend how amazing it was that we could get here so quickly, it was almost quick enough to commute to work here. I met my friend Che in a tent selling exotic silks and rugs, he’d already been there for months. The highlight was seeing a bridge that Michael Palin had crossed on his travels around the world.
10-January-2004: I was lost in a London suburb on roller-boots; it was very frightening, how I imagine amnesia must feel. I knew I should be recognising some of the street names but it was like I was on a different planet. I just kept on skating and skating up and down hills on the roads and along footpaths. I wandered off the beaten track a little and found myself halfway up a mountain where some people were eating lunch; one of them, a middle aged woman, took my hair band off and brushed my hair for me before I was on my way again, skating to find something familiar.
9-January-2004: I was in a queue of people in a park waiting to see if they could lift the wing of a B-52 Bomber with its engines still attached. The wing was ripped from the plane and lying in the middle of a lawn, people were taking it in turns trying to lift it but it was very heavy. I went to the judge watching and asked him if it was okay if I had a go even though I hadn’t signed in yet. He said it was fine, he’d remember who I was if I did any good. I went over to the wing then picked it up, held it above my head and ran of with it all the way to Lewes in Sussex, England.
8-January-2004: I was in a classroom of people listening to a lecture by a clairvoyant, she was claiming to have hypnotized the entire class and regressed them to a previous life. I was sure that she was a charlatan and went around the class reading everyone’s mind. Sure enough, out of thirty people twenty-eight were either her relatives or close friends; the other two were caught up in the emotions of the rest. The whole purpose was to con the two individuals; I exposed the crooks and showed them some real paranormal activity by utilizing telekinesis to hurl their car across the square outside.
7-January-2004: I was in Leicester in England, normally in the Midlands but in this dream it was where Liverpool is supposed to be. I was going to visit my ex-wife and her boyfriend in their new flat. They weren’t in when I got there but I met some really nice people instead who decided to show me around the town. They showed me where all the skateboarders hang out and show off their cool moves, and they escorted me through a new shopping mall that ran through a newly unearthed tunnel. The tunnel floor had been paved with Greek mosaics but some dispute with Greece had forced the local council to dig up the tiles and repave the floor with normal paving slabs. Some of the mosaic was still on display in glass cabinets along the route of the underground mall.
6-January-2004: Looking out of a window on my old street there was a robot on the opposite side, I yelled, ‘Look at that!’ and a woman behind me replied, ‘Yeah, the post office has just started using them.’ It wasn’t a very stereotypical robot, it was shiny and silver, but it was just a really thin rack on wheels about ten metres tall. Its rack was filled with telephone directories, it was going from house to house and finding the letter box then inserting the directories into the buildings.
5-January-2004: I put my name down to be part of a team of dolphin watchers in Australia for eight weeks. My friend, whom I haven’t seen in years, Sean Suckling said I’d never get a place. He said it was for graduates, when I told him I was a graduate he said it means newly graduated early twenty year olds. I ignored him and went through the interview process, I got through and was given a ticket to fly out to Australia, I still had to take part in all kinds of test before I got on the team. There were about twelve of us all lined up on a beach, we had to show how good we were at casting a line into the sea and catching fish; we would have to catch our own fish once the work began. After that we had to do an underwater obstacle course, I was really worried about this because I’m claustrophobic and there were a lot of tight spaces and a cage where you were locked inside for a few seconds. I thought this was going to be the end of my dolphin watching dreams, but in the end I was better than everyone else. I think I sort of cheated though, I made myself come outside my body and controlled my body through the obstacles like a telepathic remote control vehicle, I got around the course easily and didn’t feel any of the fear from being closed in.
4-January-2004: The memory of my actual dreams was blotted out by the out of body experience I had in the morning. I’d woken up and started reading then drifted off again, every time I do this the book I’m reading starts to flutter like its alive and I can make it fly around the room and come back to me. I usually leave my body after that but today I sort of stayed inside yet was just outside at the same time. There was no sign of Kukuchili.
3-January-2003: I was with four friends, two couples; one couple I knew and the other I’d never met before, in the front garden of the house I grew up in. The couple I’d never met before were arguing, the girl was saying she’s not happy with the man’s belly growing a bit bigger over the last few weeks. The man couldn’t believe his partner was being so shallow, he did look quite skinny to me and I did wonder what the girl was talking about. The man said to his girlfriend that he loved her for all kinds of reasons, her smile, her laugh, the way she thought up until now. The girl said she couldn’t help it, she just couldn’t like him the same way with his belly a big as it was. I still couldn’t see that his belly was big in any way, if it were any smaller he would have looked anorexic. The man said he didn’t care what she thought any more, he was completely shocked by her attitude and told her she was dumped. He wanted nothing more to do with her. Neil and Jenny, the other couple, were a bit shocked and none of us knew what to say for quite a while. I decided to get the mothership to pay us a visit and wow everyone with its awesome appearance and take us all into orbit to see things from a better perspective. I told everyone that they had to come to the back garden quickly, there was a brilliant surprise waiting for them. The mothership touched down, all flashing lights and steam, my friends came into the back garde4n just in time to miss everything. Catface had decided on landing to make the ship look like an inflatable UFO, which made its appearance far less impressive. Still it was the same mothership after all, I just needed to get them inside so we could lift off. Of course no one believed it was a spaceship, especially as the doors just looked like tent flaps and the whole thing kept moving as it was blown around in the wind. I eventually shuffled everyone inside and we took off, the shallow girl started screaming because she thought the tent we were in had been blown hundreds of feet into the air. I ordered Catface to bring the ship back to its proper dimensions and appearance so that we were all sat on luxurious sofas on a polished metal floor, with an excellent view out of a large window. We decided to land on Tabletop Mountain in South Africa because Neil wanted to have a look around for old time’s sake. After that we headed off for Barbados.
2-January-2004: We were outside an alien base on an alien planet; one of us was dressed like the aliens and we were trying to smuggle ourselves into their base, me pretending to be a prisoner like they do in films. When we got through the doors all the aliens were sitting in rows watching a seminar on human slaves. The aliens looked almost exactly like humans, but they could tell the difference. They dragged me into the middle of the seminar and the leader was going to demonstrate how one should tag humans. He had a huge pair of pliers that he was going to use to chop off my middle two fingers on my right hand and the middle two toes on my left foot. Just as the big old alien was about to begin chopping, proximity alarms started screaming, my comrades outside had been detected; the aliens all started running to their respective stations for emergencies. I picked up a chair and started hitting a teenage alien in the face as hard as I could, just hitting and hitting him until he looked at me and said, ‘What? What do you want silly human?’ He almost thought of me as insignificant and only spoke to me out of extreme boredom; the aliens were so strong that hitting them with a chair was like being swiped in the face with a handkerchief. I told the kid we humans were on a big adventure and asked him if he wanted to get out of here and come with us on an expedition across the galaxy, he didn’t even give it a moments thought when he got up and followed us out. I thought it will be great to have a new crewmember that was so unbelievably strong as we ran up the gangplank into our ship.
1-January-2004: On an oil rig somewhere in the middle of an ocean a bad man was trying his little boat to a landing platform; he was dangling a very rusty chain into the sea and slowly pulling it up, I wondered how deep the water was as I watched him. He couldn’t see me, I was invisible, as his stupid brother came down some steps on the oil rig. The first bad man began teasing his brother for not being able to swim, he jumped into the ocean with all his clothes on and swam out to sea saying, ‘Come on Billy, it’s easy.’