30-September-2008: I had a dream that I lost my wife, Marcia, after the flight from last night’s dream, somewhere in England. I woke up (still in the dream) in a strange place, with a Jamaican women telling me how Marcia had been given a tracking device and that my mobile phone should be able to pick it up. Sure enough I could see a blip where Marcia was, hundreds of miles away from my location. I watched the blip heading south from Manchester quickly, so guessed she must be on a train heading to London, not knowing she can get to York (where we live) straight from Manchester. I was somewhere like Bristol and decided to get a train to London and meet her there, only when I got to London Marcia was heading North again – this time to Leeds – and my dream was being narrated 1950s style… “Meanwhile, Marcia (lost as usual) headed in the wrong direction….”
29- September -2008: I had a dream that I was on a plane leaving America, taking off down a runway that had a huge ramp at the end. I said “this looks just like the take-offs I have in my dreams, and we always end up hitting trees and electricity cables”, which is exactly what happened. The pilot landed the plane further up the coast of America in a place called Seaport to check if any bits had fallen off from hitting the trees etc. I really wanted to go in a different plane after that so, to make sure they would have to send us another one, I pushed the plane into a building so one of its wings fell off. However, the pilot did a deal with a local racing car engineer and had a new wing fashioned from racing car parts and said we were ready to continue our flight to England. I tried to set up a protest group for ‘passengers against the new wing’, but only a few weird people joined me and I eventually changed my mind and got on the plane.
28- September -2008: I had another dream with Lionel in it, this time we were discussing the viability of having real cars on a track being remotely controlled via a website.
27- September -2008: I had a dream that a friend called Lionel Firn and I went out for a bicycle ride and I told him about this boring kid I went to school with called Jason Foster, and how I’d rediscovered him recently (only in this dream). We went around to Jason Foster’s house and knocked on his door, which was answered by a silent Goth chick who wouldn’t speak to us. I told her we were there to see Jason so she just stepped aside and let us in. We found our way to a smelly living-room and Jason tucked up in a bed with his grandma next to him. The Goth chic followed us into the room then climbed in bed with the other two. The granny kept making lurid remarks about me climbing into bed with them, then saying maybe I shouldn’t otherwise ‘our Jason might get jealous’. After this the granny got out of the bed to sit on a couch then patted the seat next to her and asked Lionel to come and sit down… Lionel went to sit next to her just as she added “but don’t get too close ‘cause I just pissed me self and there’s a wet patch down there”, at which point Lionel sprang up and I laughed so loud in the dream that I woke myself up, still laughing.
26-September-2008: I had a dream that I was being taught music lessons by Rimmer, a character from a UK sci-fi sitcom called Red Dwarf, when I had an epiphany and realised I could totally understand all forms of music, like suddenly knowing a new language.
25-September-2008: I had a dream that a friend called Paul Lazenby was having a birthday party in the Priory Hotel, just down the street from where I live. The party was full of old people and seemed very low-key for Paul, in fact it was downright boring.
24-September-2008: I had a dream that my ex wife, Masayo, was showing me this iPod she owned. She thought it was really cool but it was enormous, like the size of a VHS video cassette only with rounded edges. It did look kind of cool but in a very retro fashion and I told her that collectors would pay a lot for it on Ebay, but all she could think about was how jealous she was of my tiny iPod Nano.
23-September-2008: In waking life I have a friend called Susan Beyer who just moved house recently. In last night’s dream the BBC were doing a documentary about Susan’s old house and why she’d moved out. They were talking about an ongoing feud between Susan and her neighbour about Susan’s house being far too large and her hate for their cat, for which she had built a high wall to try and keep the creature out. None of the story was true and I kept trying to get on the set so I could tell them that they were wrong, but no one would listen to me.
22-September-2008: I had a dream that a choir was singing and that I was supposed to be taking part, but all I wanted to do was play some hand drums and other percussion instruments. Every time I tried to play the drums the teacher would stop the choir and tell me off, even though no one else there seemed to mind me playing the drums.
21-September-2008: I had a dream I went to see a friend called Lewis Evans, who I haven’t spoken to in 8 years, and that I was only wearing a tee shirt so I kept trying to sit in a way that didn’t show I was almost naked.
20-September-2008: I had a dream that I was demonstrating a simple kung fu set called ‘Horse Riding Stance and Punch’ to my Tai Chi classmates.
19-September-2008: I had a dream, which seemed very real at first, where I was pinned down in bed by my hands. It was a bit like sleep paralysis only it was just my hands that I couldn’t lift from the bed. After a while it turned into a proper dream where I was still pinned down and was having some dentistry work forced upon me, not the actual drilling or anything but just the injections and some gas.
18-September-2008: I don’t remember too much imagery from my dream, but I kept shouting ‘Weightwatchers to the right, Weightwatchers to the right’.
17-September-2008: I had a dream that I was looking for a shipwreck with a woman and a killer whale.
16-September-2008: I had a dream that I was at a fairly dull party in a skyscraper in Tokyo, Japan. I knew there was a kinky sex party going on at the floor below us and kept trying to sneak off and go to it.
15-September-2008: I had a dream that my friend Paul, who is paraplegic, had been given some artificial springy legs and that he was leaping about all over the place.
14-September-2008: I had a dream that I was on a cruise ship and that I kept changing into a lesser known Greek god. One time, at the front of the ship, the Doctor from Doctor Who materialised in the TARDIS and got out to tell me that everyone was chasing me from different universes because of some kind of hunting competition where I was the prey. Soon after this a group of Daleks appeared and came after me, so I jumped overboard into the sea where they couldn’t follow. As I watched the cruise ship sail away I wondered if, as a Greek god, I was impervious to the chilly waters.
13-September-2008: I had a dream that I was de-aging the Queen of England using a special device from the Mothership, then weirdly thinking about kissing her.
12-September-2008: I had a dream that I was fighting with my friend Phil Benton in France, shouting at him in French ‘don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry’, a la L’Incroyable Hulk, and making everyone laugh.
11-September-2008: I had a dream I was talking about the Mini (car) and that I ended up transporting a load of them on a ferry to France.
10-September-2008: I had a dream set in Brighton again, this time I was on a bus and some woman said she’d researched the history of Brighton and discovered it used to be a total shithole in the late 1700s. I felt hurt by this and made the bus go back in time to 1796 so we could have a look. When we appeared in the past there was no road and the bus nearly drove into a ravine. We managed, all the passengers, to get the bus away from the edge and onto a flat grassy area but before we could have a proper look around there was a terrible thunder storm so I took us back to 2008.
9-September-2008: I had a dream that I turned the flat where I used to live in Brighton, along with the whole terraced block, into an art academy where it was free to join and live but people had to be approved by me and other artists that were already members.
8-September-2008: I had a dream that I was at a cinema with Marcia (my wife) in India. As we watched the screen I realised that Masayo (my ex wife) was sitting next to us, watching the same movie. I thought ‘my God, what are the chances of meeting her like that in such a remote place after all this time?’ and tried to talk to her but, remarkably and after almost a decade, she still didn’t want to speak to me.
7-September-2008: I had a dream that I was floating around, almost like a ghost, the house I used to live in with friends as an art student – a place always referred to as Nunmill Street. I floated into Ruth’s room, probably the only room in the house I never got a good look at, and found all kinds of interesting things on her shelves – model dragons, vampire figures and a mysterious silver tin – which made me think how cool she was. Then I heard someone downstairs frying sausages and bacon.
6-September-2008: I had a dream that I was with some friends, filling up a massive reservoir very quickly so we could go surfing on the waves we created.
5-September-2008: I had a dream that my brother had borrowed my 3D Super Woofer (a stereo) in the 1980s and that I took it back from him 20 years later.
4-September-2008: I had a dream that I told my mother to stop hating ‘blonde-haired-Karen’, a girl that went to the same art college as me years ago, who I’m sure my mother never actually met.
3-September-2008: I had a dream that I found loads of dead bodies on the playing field of the school where I went as a child. I couldn’t figure out why they were there until I got closer and found plane wreckage amongst the cadavers.
2-September-2008: I had a dream that I brought the Ford Mustang (car) I rented in America to England.
1-September-2008: I had a dream that I was riding a bicycle up a hill as fast as possible in order to impress two friends, Ché and Carl Sanderson, who were a mile or so behind me and catching up in a car.