29-February-2008: I had a dream that I was swabbing the decks on a navy ship in World War Two. We were expecting an attack from a German ship and I got scared and swam away to a nearby island. When I got to the island I found a modern day mobile Scud missile launcher in a shed. I thought to bring it outside to attack the German ship but when it arrived it was an old-fashioned sailing ship piloted by Baron Münchhausen and the dream turned into a Pirates of Penzance-style musical farce.
28-February-2008: I had a dream that I had two very shallow friends, a man and a woman who were in a relationship with each other. They were both fretting about wanting to break up with the other one so I brought them together and told them that neither of them wanted to be in a relationship with the other, then walked away.
27-February2008: I had a dream that I was following a Chinese woman that I’d given money to. I don’t know why I gave her money or why I was following her.
26-February-2008: I had a dream that I was at a party drinking something like a martini that was made from potatoes. The potatoes were partially rotten and full of worms and so was the drink. I noticed the worms before I drank them so took my drink back to the makeshift bar to show the bartenders. A woman came up to the bar and apologised and explained to the bar people that they were using old potatoes and offered me some free fish and chips to make up for the mistake, but before I could reply someone shouted “Look, he’s got the birthday glow!” and everyone started singing Happy Birthday at me.
25-February-2008: I had a dream that I was using a futuristic ESP device that I’d made to help and older lady get in contact with her dead baby one last time to say goodbye.
24-February-2008: I had a dream that my friend Ché Sanderson and I were riding motorbikes to Scotland. We stopped at Northallerton and decided not to hang around because it was boring, then headed off to Anek but got sidetracked and went to Lindisfarne (or the Holy Islands) instead, where I met my wife Marcia watching the tides come in and fish jumping up inside her dress. After that I went to a local pub with Marcia and we ate fisherman’s pie and joined in some bizarre local folksongs as if we’d lived there all our lives.
23-February-2008: I had a dream that I was taking an autistic boy that I know in waking life for a walk by the river to a place called Naburn. When we got there I discovered a shortcut to a place called Ilkley Moor that got us there by walking only a few yards when in reality it should be more like forty miles.
22-February-2008: I had a dream that my friend Neil Kay, a renowned scruffy hippy, had taken to wearing posh Armani suits to go out drinking with his friends in town.
21-February-2008: I had a dream that my friend Dave Smiley phoned and said he was at an outdoor marketplace that, when I got there, was on top of the demolished remains of my old art college. I couldn’t find Dave but met up with Neil Kay watching his girlfriend, Jenny Sharp, fly an FA 18 fighter jet and eventually crash it, nose first, harmlessly into some mud.
20-February-2008: I had a dream that my friend Neil kay was really pissed off with a drug dealer who lived in a really grotty flat in a big old house. He wanted to go inside and beat him up. Jenny (his girlfriend) and I tried to persuade him not to but he went anyway. We let him go because he was too angry to stop, but he came running out a few minutes later as he was being chased by a gang who were shooting at him. As Neil got closer to us bullets started hitting the ground near our feet and making the dirt spay up in a really cool, movie-style fashion that I was momentarily transfixed by before the three of us ran off together through a fence and across a field to a housing estate.
19-February-2008: I had a dream that I, and hundreds of other people, were searching for a lost baby. We spent nearly an entire day looking until Tamsin Evans, the sister of the guy from last night’s dream, told us she’d taken the baby for a walk in the morning and kept her safe all day at home but had forgotten to tell anyone.
18-February-2008: I had a dream that my friend Lewis Evans was flying up down a street. People were taking it in turns to be pulled by Lewis, via a bungie rope, on a surf board.
17-February-2008: I had a dream that I was back working at Fulprint, where I had my first real job as a teenager in waking life, and that Bob Scrace (the owner) wanted me to print posters on some really awkward, folded cloth material. I had a talk to Terry Musgrove (the best printer there) about it and he agreed that the job was impossible.
16-February-2008: I had a dream that I was in America, somewhere in the Midwest countryside in a small town, and feeling really anxious about being far away from home and at the thought of going to a late night party I was invited to – I was afraid of drinking and having a hangover the next day in a strange town.
15-February-2008: I had a dream that I was in a car heading for the Lake District I England. I was a bit scared of being a passenger in the car, not really knowing where we were going, until I spotted a tank parked up at a wood-mill and remembered that I was on a mission to hunt down military vehicles.
14-February-2008: I had a dream that was set in the future and we were at war with people that look just like us, only they were non-human. I had a special ability where I could sense people who held bad feelings of ill intent towards us and I also discovered, when a large garbage truck tried to run us down, that I could melt vehicles with my hands.
13-February-2008: I had a dream that I was running in a cross-country race, like a mini marathon, dragging a very long electrical cable behind me.
12-February-2008: I had a dream that I was on a train heading for Edinburgh with an autistic boy that I know who loves trains in waking life.
11-February-2008: I had a dream that I kept winning gold dollars on a fruit machine (slot machine) in a cheap costal amusement arcade in England somewhere. Every time I played I got more dollars, which were becoming increasingly difficult to carry. Nevertheless I thought I would become rich until a coin jammed in the machine and I couldn’t play anymore.
10-February-2008: I had a dream where lots of young girls, children, in a supermarket had a terminal illness.
9-February-2008: I had a dream that I was talking to Sean Easton’s, I guy I used to hang out with when I was a kid, mother about how moody her husband used to be when I was young, how he never seemed to smile at anything and was always very serious.
8-February-2008: I had a dream that I was back on a quiz show I appeared on in waking life called Fifteen to One. The game had got to the last question and we had to figure out what one of the contestant’s, who had already been knocked out of the quiz, name was from a clue that it meant “equilibrium” in very ancient Greek or Egyptian.
7-February-2008: I had a dream that I was in an hilarious downhill race with Worf, a character from a TV show called Star Trek, The Next Generation. We ran together down a very steep hill through some trees that opened out onto mud flats that we trudged through as best we could to try and win the race by getting to the water in a river. We both made it at pretty much the same time. Running through the trees and mud was one of the most enjoyable things I’ve ever done, either awake or dreaming.
6-February-2008: I had a dream that a team of architects and builders in the future were trying to keep York Minster from falling down. I appeared through a time hole and told the foreman that a two hundred foot section of wall was damp and rotting from the inside and that the whole thing would collapse and cause half of the Minster to fall down a crush a large part of the city. No one would believe me so I found the man in charge of the project who turned out to be Tom Baldwin, a character from a science fiction TV show called The 4400, and explained to him in secret that I was from a different time period and that I had already seen the huge building collapse.
5-February-2008: I had a dream that I asked my friend Carl Sanderson if he’d ever used a computer program called Fruity Loops. He said that he had and that he was familiar with how it works, but I thought he was lying.
4-February-2008: I had a dream that I met an old friend called Sean Suckling and that we were somehow slowing down time in order to complete more tasks per day than is normally possible.
3-February-2008: I had a dream that I was walking around York University looking for a pair of shoes. I eventually found a locker room and stole someone’s shoes while they were out training.
2-February-2008: I had a dream that I was driving in a car with a friend called Benji, who sometimes posts on the Dream Message Board here, with his mother who I haven’t seen in about 3 years.
1-February-2008: I had a dream that I owned an apartment in the desert near the sea, possibly the Dead or Red Sea? It wasn’t my permanent residence but it was somewhere I went to stay a lot to get away from it all. I took a friend with me in this dream, it was the first time anyone I know had been there, and my mother was with us too. The apartment was in a posh, classy-looking building, all art nouveau ornaments and art deco architecture, the lobby was similar to the Chrysler or Empire State Building in New York. There was an old fashioned elevator with concertina type folding doors, like a collapsible criss cross pattern, and my mother asked if we were going in that to get to my apartment. I told her that we were not, that the old elevator was for the “Hop Alongs”. I guided her and my friend to a modern elevator that had a luxury interior and an old man operating it. As we rode to the top of the building my friend asked what a Hop Along was and I told them that that’s what I call the servants, because I’m always telling them to “Hop along, there’s a good chap” when I thought they weren’t working hard enough – in a very olde worlde type British fashion. My apartment was similar to the lobby in style, but had some high tech stereo and TV equipment too. There was a single pane, enormous glass window on one wall that looked out over the beach to the sea. I went to look at the sea and saw the largest hippo in the word swimming in the water, about 10 times the size of an elephant, and said, “Good God, look at that!” just before I woke up.