30-November-2006: I had a dream that I was telling an anecdote about an old woman in New York City crossing the street. The old woman crossed the street and stubbed her toe on the sidewalk curb and I asked her if there was anything I could do, she said “Yah, send me a bunch of flowers!” in a very sarcastic tone.
29-November-2006: I had a dream that I was waiting in line to get fuel for my car while I watched a sky diving display team.
28-November-2006: I dreamt that I was on holiday in Cambridge, England, with my wife Marcia and a friend called Carl, Sanderson – who’d originally gone there on business but met up with us on our holiday. The whole dream was about photography, talking pictures of architecture and water. We left Carl after we’d all taken lots of photos of Cambridge and went to see an old woman in France, who was a relative in the dream. She told me I need to take pictures of all the flowers in her garden, but insisted I learn all their names first. Her husband told me how he’d offered to fix a shared wall at the back of his yard, but all the owners had said they didn’t want to spend the money so it never got done. He showed me where it had all collapsed because of rot and damp and we laughed together at the foolishness of his neighbours.
27-November-2006: I had a dream I was shopping for clothes in an English south coast town called Brighton. A friend called Peter Rankin was with me and we were both supposed to buy a new outfit, for some reason I now forget. We split up to go and find a nice shirt and when we met again Peter had nothing and I had a full outfit. Peter complained that all the shops were too expensive, that he refused to buy anything from such a rip-off town. He said he wished there was a shop like Huxstables, a place that sells cheap jeans in our hometown, and I said that I’d seen an Army and Navy store, which I thought might be similar. He said, “Don’t be ridiculous man, it’d be full of the same ilk that shops in Waterstones [a bookstore]”.
26-November-2006: I dreamt that Marcia and I went on holiday with a guy called Gary, from a TV sitcom called Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, and his girlfriend. We were supposed to go camping in the English countryside to conquer Gary’s fear of sheep, and help with my agoraphobia. I had to ride home first on a motorbike to meet someone in a restaurant that I owned. While I was inside the Chinese restaurant someone stole everything on my motorbike apart from the front wheel. I spent the rest of the dream desperately trying to find a shop where I could buy another motorbike and get back the to country with Marcia and the others, but I couldn’t find one anywhere. I later somehow did get back to the countryside but there was no one there except my ex wife, Masayo, who asked me if I slept with anyone while I was away on business.
25-November-2006: I had a dream I was taking guitar lessons with the people I really take guitar lessons with in waking life. After this we all went to play war-games in real helicopters. One group set of first a big Sea King chopper (like the coast guard use) and the rest of us chased them half an hour later with little black MD 500s with machine guns on the skids.
24-November-2006: I had a dream that my friend Dave Smiley was launching missiles into a desert conflict. He was getting a bit frustrated because we couldn’t see where all the targets were. I could see that the enemy had a UAV (unmanned aerial vehicle) launcher and radar receiver easily within striking distance of Dave’s missiles, but our commander said they would probably have dozens of them, so it would be pointless to bomb it, which I thought extremely unlikely. Dave wanted to send in a squad of ground troops, but the commander told him he couldn’t do that until he was a general.
23-November-2006: I dreamt that I saw an armoured car that looked like a really cool armoured personnel carrier and I decided I wanted it to be mine, so I got out a little device I called a History Zapper and shot the car with a ray that made it so it had always belonged to me since it was built. Two security guards were walking towards the car with bags of money, but after I zapped it they were standing in their underwear, scratching their heads and wondering what they were doing in the street with no clothes on. Later I ram-raided an unhygienic animal shelter with the APC and let out hundreds of puppies. There was also a radio connection to the dream, as there was the night before. On the way to ram-raid the animal shelter I drove past the same radio station that was broadcasting through the radio inside the cab of the APC I was driving, the music was emanating from the building far louder than the little radio.
22-November-2006: I had a dream that Fulford church, near where I grew up, had been totally renovated inside and that some of the repairs, all the shiny bits, had been paid for and designed by me. I went in the church to have a little look and the place was full of regular churchgoers admiring the new refurbishment. The vicar shook hands with me and made a big deal of my contribution. A local radio station was there and it looked like they were going to interview me on air, but they changed their minds at the last minute because they had no time to slot me in.
21-November-2006: I had a dream that I was in New York City meeting a rich businessman. When I got to his luxury apartment he had a bodyguard with him and the actor/rapper Will Smith was there too. When the three of us saw each other, myself Will Smith and the bodyguard, we all realised that we were childhood friends, that we spent one summer together at camp when we were twelve and we’d forgotten all about it for years. We were embarrassed at first but soon started jumping around, ignoring the businessman, and singing some silly rhymes we’d made up the last time we’d seen each other.
20-November-2006: Every time I drifted off to sleep I kept dreaming about ghosts and spiritual presences. I think it was because I was too tired, but it seemed very real at the time. Sometimes I felt like someone was prodding me in the back and I said to myself, ‘Oh yeah, I think I had this ghost visit me the other night’. The dreams were the kind where you think you’re still awake, until the shock wakes you up and you realise you were still asleep.
19-September-2006: I had a dream that I was with a Native American and we were both listening to the ground, trying to hear future lottery results. The dream then turned into me giving an outdoor lecture on how lotteries control the masses, giving them false hope and lining the pockets of the rich people who ran the games.
18-November-2006: I had a dream that I was getting a new exhaust fitted to a Land Rover that I used to own 6 years ago in waking life. A mechanic called Mike Townend was disappointed I hadn’t chosen him to do the job, that I used one of Marcia’s friends instead who, in this dream, was some guy, from an Australian TV soap, called Dillon. Mike came to inspect Dillon’s work and said that he was surprised and impressed that Dillon had at least looked in the Land Rover manual and fashioned a workable exhaust from scrap. At this point Mike turned into my friend Carl Sanderson, who used to own Land Rovers himself, and began helping Dillon chop up a piece of gold pipe with a hacksaw to use as an exhaust.
17-November-2006: I had another dream about drinking. This time I’d gone to a new bar, in a part of my town that doesn’t exist in waking life, with my friends – Neil Kay, Jenny Sharp, Dave Smiley and Phil Benton. Again like the dream the other night, I was wary of drinking alcohol but sort of wanted to join in – plus I was been heckled by Jenny. Every time I went to the bar though and bought a drink, I sat down at our table and chatted then went to pick up my drink only to see that someone had drank most of it already. I thought it must be Dave at first, being an alcoholic and everything, but it wasn’t him, he was too far away and had plenty to drink anyway. Neil and Jenny became so drunk that they fell asleep, by which time it was a sunny Sunday morning. I think I noticed Phil then steeling their drinks, and started shouting at him for steeling mine all night. He’s always been a total tight git in waking life, never likes to pay for stuff, but I couldn’t believe he blatantly stole all my drinks. I was actually secretly pleased as I walked home though, because I knew I wouldn’t have a hangover.
16-November-2006: I had a dream I was in the army, or visiting the army as an observer, and was taken along to ride on top of a supersonic military passenger jet. I was told, because of Concord shutting down, it was the only one of its kind in the world. I had hoped that we would be riding inside, but the soldier who took me was an adrenalin junky and insisted we ride on top – with no safety harness or ‘any of that nonsense’. It was pretty scary rocketing down the runway holding onto metal seat that he’d welded to the top of the plane, but it was actually quite good fun once we were airborne.
15-November-2006: I dreamt the entire plot of a children’s TV drama that starts out with a girl writing in her diary, ‘He dumped me, I can’t believe he dumped me!’ and ends up with her getting involved with a secret society of scientist, in the back room of a pest store, experimenting on fish from another world that eat people.
14-November-2006: I had a dream that I was a teacher in at a large school. It was Christmas time and all the teachers were having a little party in the staff room. I was cajoled into drinking alcohol – I haven’t had a drink in waking life for a month, which is unusual for me – and I was very wary of getting even slightly tipsy. After a while I did get a bit drunk, even though I’d only had one glass of wine, and started to giggle at the slightest thing. We all watched a movie called Rocket Man (don’t think it exists in waking life) and I laughed my head off when he crashed into the side of a barn.
13-November-2006: I’ve been playing a computer game called Battlefield 2142 before I go to bed for a number of weeks now. Last night I dreamt that these robot-type walker things, from the game but were real in the dream, were invading my hometown of York in England. One of them was stood on Ouse Bridge, a main thoroughfare in the city centre. All the rush hour traffic was jammed and people were shouting to get past this 30 foot high mechanised destruction machine, 
like they were all too ignorant of their impending doom to see past their own silly agendas. I shouted at the line of traffic, saying “Give it up, just go home. Or, if your home lies that way, go somewhere else instead…”. I’m not sure why, but most of the people not in cars took heed of my words, like I was a local leader or something, and ran or cycled off home. Some of the cars’ drivers noticed this and took heed themselves, turning in the street and heading off out of town. The ones that didn’t move were stomped flat under the feet of the huge mechanoid things on two legs. I grabbed someone, the person I was with who I now forget, and we stole a little Renault car and sped off out of town. As we drove past the little Cenotaph I wondered if the obelisk’s top would be blown off by one of the invaders, like it might be if it was a movie.
12-November:2006: I keep having dreams about the Lunn family recently, just some people I went to school with as I grew up. Last night I dreamt that I removed Margaret Lunn’s appendix, she was very pleased about it. Margaret was the youngest in the family, and still a small girl in my dream like she was the last time I saw her about 20 years ago.
11-November-2006: I dreamed that I was with my wife Marcia, and two best friends, Neil Kay and his girlfriend Jenny Sharp. We were all touring around a little mountainside town in Germany and decided we really liked it there. All the houses looked like they belonged on Christmas cards of chocolate boxes. We made up our minds to live there, the houses were also very cheap, and Neil and Jenny bought a house on the main street leading into the town that had a name like Amp or Amplifier, which I said was typical of Neil because he likes listening to loud music. Marcia and I bought a really cosy little house in the middle of town down a side street.
10-November-2006: I dreamt that I met a woman I haven’t seen for years called Tamsin by the riverside in York, England. I asked her if she still had anger management problems, if she still punched her boyfriends. I was genuinely concerned and wanted to help her if she was still like that, but some hecklers shouted that I just fancied her. Her ex-boyfriend, Steve Bloore, who is married now and wont have seen Tamsin in years either, told the hecklers to shut up. They replied that Steve probably still fancied her too. I told him to ignore them and said, “Look at this, if you jump in the air and grab your dick you can hover along the street!” and the two of us went hovering down the riverside and in and out of buildings, all the while using our dicks like rudders to steer by.
9-November-2006: I had a surreal dream where Marcia was pregnant, only instead of having a baby when the birth happened it changed me into a woman and Marcia into a man. Marcia said there was more to it though, we’d had twins so every two weeks we would both change back to our normal form. I was terrified at first when all my features started distorting and changing, but once it finished and I was a woman I thought I looked quite nice. I tried not to think too much about Marcia being a man.
8-November-2006: I had a dream that a teacher friend of mine, Peter Rankin, was throwing out some old computers from Bootham School, where he works as I pulled up in my car. He wanted to put one of the computers on my back seat, but I didn’t really want him to because I thought the computer was just old junk, which I have enough of already. While Peter and a colleague continued removing computers I spoke to one of a school children, a small boy who looked a bit lonely. I showed how I could perform bionic kung fu moves and leapt thirty feet into the air, making sure he was the only one that saw me. After this I drove away in my car wondering what the boy would tell his friends and parents.
7-November-2006: I had a dream that my ex-wife, Masayo, from years ago was somehow living in our house, which was actually my waking life childhood home and not where we live now. Masayo snuck in to see me when I was in bed and tried to seduce me but I told her to get lost. Marcia had been listening outside the door and was very happy that I told my ex to get lost, she came running in to tell me. I wondered in the dream if my ex had been deliberately trying to infect me.
6-November-2006: I had a dream that I was talking to my sister-in-law, Julie, on the telephone, telling her all about how Marcia (my wife) is upset and wants to speak to her about it but can’t because Julie’s husband told her not to bother Julie with anything stressful.
5-November-2006: I had a dream that I was riding in a boat with Robert Shaw, the actor from Jaws, along the River Thames in London England. He was helping me escape the country, and we were being chased by helicopters. At one point we docked and ran around inside a theatre avoiding agents and scuppering their plans, then got back in the boat and speeded off to sea.
4-November-2006: I dreamt that I went to a part of Fulford, where I grew up, that used to be an airfield in waking life but has since gown over with grass (and houses). In the dream it was sort of concretey again and I sat looking at it from the edge of the field, saying to a woman that it reminds me of Greece or Cyprus. The woman had a chimp with her whose personality made me think of a friend called Nathan. I used Soul Speak and hand signals to communicate with the chimp, talking about the old airfield and what it meant to be a chimpanzee – he was very pleased to meet a human who understood him.
3-November-2006: I’m pretty sure I was dreaming about hover tanks and surface-to-air missiles, but the details were intermingled with HTML code and website design nonsense.
2-November-2006: I dreamt that I was challenging a group of people to leap head first from a castle, called Clifford’s Tower in York, England, then pull up and fly away just before they hit the ground. We all tried it but were too afraid to jump head first to begin with. Instead we jumped feet first and let the wind pick us up then flew across the car park behind the tower.
1-November-2006: I dreamed that Marcia, my wife, was seducing me, which was nice.